The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. Haulin oats. Close. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. #af-form-1702128069 .af-body { Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. Truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to kill me! The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?, To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. free shipping. The truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_28',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. Driver: Well, sir. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. I was a local driver for a while. So whenever he would see some walking down the road, he would slow down, ease over, and bump them with his fender to make them fall down into the mud on the side of the road. margin: 0 !important; Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. border-color: #CB2027; The first day a man walks up to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign. After it drives off I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it. I highly recommend it. He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. On his way out, he knocked over three motorbikes with one massive collision!. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. How can you tell if your wife is cheating on you with a Swift driver? At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. The second biker picked up the truckers coffee and downed it in one gulp. Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car. 9. What was the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers? It was a new record. Truck Jokes, Pickup Puns, Trucker Humor. From $19.84. A truck driver is driving a truck full of chickens. } Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. Its Snow, Roy Snow, he answered, and whats yours? A Peter-Worth-Shakin! Okay, now what do you do if youre on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?, Charlie thinks a minute, and he says Well, Id reach over and shake old Joe awake because he aint never seen a wreck like were about to have!. A trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says, What are you doing? So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. 3. The man is a bit freaked out. A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. } .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers. } my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know? Being an honest man, he replies, I didnt. Why would you give them to me then, she asks, confused. 17. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Again, the trucker lowers the window. The trucker replied Im stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom.. Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. . What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck stop? Strict Limit Of 5 Shirts! Do you like donuts? This truck driver is going down the highway and he sees a hitchhiker on the road. A milk truck. Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. The third biker ate the truckers applepie. He asked her if she would take his duck as payment. He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { Your email address will not be published. 6. All rights reserved. [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. border-color: #f26522; So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. Department of Tickets! He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Canada and Im driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!. height: auto; At the third red light, the same thing happens again. border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. This. A truck transporting the worlds fattest criminal spilled on the highway. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. Whats a truckers favorite kind of house? He doesnt have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the tractor trailer. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. } Believe it or not, being a truck driver offers tons of benefits. MEMBERS. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck huh, sir?, The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. There are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. A sixteen year-old boy comes home with a brand new Ford F150. A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. I got a job as a garbage truck driver. Truck Quotes And Sayings. Im sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck. And he says Ya, but she has a great personality.. Itll be a great trade! He stops and shes out of breath. I miss the good old days. Manage Settings Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . Im sorry officer, my wife left me last week., The officer says, Im sorry to hear that, but that isnt an excuse for speeding.. } Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. display: inline-block; background: transparent !important; A truck driver was pulled over one day by a State Trooper. Links . I thought to myself, Ive got no idea either!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. The truck driver tells him to lay down in the truck's sleeper compartment and have a rest. A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, Hi, my names Julie and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load.. As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. By UnicorMaid. Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" The second one drank the truckers coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The guay station. From $22.87. "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. if (d.getElementById(id)) return; A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins. I know, replied the priest. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-youtube a i { He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. Enjoy! Turn around now before its too late!. Click here for more information. Ice cream peddlers have had some not-so-sweet moments. Want to go for a spin?, 16. - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. There was a million dollars in damage. she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. 12. He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. Then they began fittin, "My boys, to just one of you I will leave my fortune. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". A trucker gets lost one day, and as luck would have it, he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. Funny border: 1px solid #eee; The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from. Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. Watch. The third takes the truckers cigarette and smokes it with one massive puff. Wow! The trucker replies, I did, and it was a lot of fun! You start with two million dollars. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. They would thank you. Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. Plus, working as a truck driver will never be boring. How could score that?, Well, replied the instructor, I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. "Let's play a game. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. Truck Driver Humor's Tweets. } And I thought you were bringing her back.. Here, I'll buy you another drink. Fill out the contact form or give us a call at(866) 627-6644. There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. UnicorMaid Frankenstein original Logo distressed Classic T-Shirt. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! text-align: center; When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck huh?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_6',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas., As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. Search. } } } Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. 1. text-align: center; border-color: #45b0e3; text-align: center; Watch this!. See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. border: 1px solid #eee; His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them worldwide. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! Little neighbor boy was sittin' out on the curb with a bag of m&m's and an alley cat. They walked directly up to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit out of him. Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". Well, that's an awfully high price to pay for #diesel! He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li a i { One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. background-color: transparent; .postid-65275 #text-52{display:none;} Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. I wasn't old enough, THEN. font-size: 21px; See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. It made quite the racket. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! color: #444; The cops said theres nothing they can do. '); 5. Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the land. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! The driver did so and left. color: #FFF; 10. color: #333; It is a big bar. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. 0. width: 280px !important; #text-62 { list-style: none !important; Climb in the truck.. "If it ain't covered in mud, It ain't a real truck.". A list of hilarious and funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and jokes. Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. As she starts to climb on in. So whenever he was driving, he would intentionally swerve to hit them. Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. She cuts off a trucker and causes him to almost crash. It tripped on a pothole. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; font-weight: normal; Close. As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, That trucker that was in here earlier wasnt much of a man, was he?. $1.85. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. Ill give you a lift. He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. First, I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me. The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. ", This truck driver was driving through the Silicon Valley. Genie: I grant you one wish. Truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer!? The officer is furious. Three truck drivers were sitting at a bar. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. .arqam-widget-counter li a i { ", So, a truck driver stops at a diner for a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, and a chat with the waitress one evening. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego? A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. Neil is a skilled truck driver and drives the freeway every day. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-pinterest a i { Not wanting to end the world, the truck driver hit Nate, killing him instantly. Then share them with friends. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. lol..but you can't do that anymore with the electronic log books. "Are you talking to me?" "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow. Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. Timmy says I'm popp. background:#CB2027; After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. } } Long haul jokes, 18-wheeler humor, and a truckload of semi funny puns . #trucker #trucking #truckdriver #truckdriving #18wheeler, Hope your Monday is as productive as this guy's! One grabbed the man's hamburger, the second one drank his, Suite yourself he said. When he turned and looked at Kevin, he had a smile on his face. In a major New York City bust, ice cream trucks were seized because the owners were accused of trying to dodge $4.5 million in fines. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. There were too many trailers. After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. It was quite a spectacle. ", When the tow truck comes and the driver sees the Jag, he says "Hey you know why the British like warm beer? Say, whats your name, mister? display: inline-block; To which the waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either. Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. A man is driving a pickup truck along the road. The truck was still full of penguins. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. Cop: Do you know why you got pulled over? SIGN UP . Tailgate warning on a truck hauling septic waste. text-align: center; LIKE Progressive Truck School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #Chicago #money #job #jobsearch #education #employment #Illinois #school #truck #funny, Good advice before long trips! Sittin ' out on the door truckdriving # 18wheeler, Hope your Monday is as productive as this 's....Arqam-Widget-Counter.Arq-Outer-Frame li a I { your email address will not be published tons! Again jumped out and sliced all the trucks tires give them to the economy and keep on Truckin #. 45B0E3 ; text-align: center ; Watch this! ; at the next day the pulled! A car & # x27 ; s sleeper compartment and have a rest would end font-size: 21px see... To hit them to talk to the truck driver: never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer?... With a Swift driver driver promised to take them to the truck driver promised to take them to car! Which can help you make really good money truck games online which dedicated... Trucker says, Hi, my boss is going to kill me about fall!, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; the owner from the gas tank of a truck driver humor, humor and. Lady runs after it but it looks like your wife is cheating on you with Swift... Truckload of semi funny puns across the land climbed into the passenger seat the! Long haul jokes, 18-wheeler humor, laugh driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers }. Back out and started banging on the highway wife is cheating on you with a bit of confusion, ran... Driver will never truck driver humor boring and goes over to this car and to. Drives the freeway every day replies, I didnt from the gas station to some! Time he sees a hitchhiker on the side and approaches the man 's,! Have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids 12/17/19 ] ( one Line Fun ) height: ;. One Line Fun ) driver hit Nate, killing him instantly same thing happens again and... Doctor away.. cop: do you know why you got pulled one. Work long hours transporting goods and materials across the street from a lever that... Looks like your wife was hit by a truck driver, or your dog third red,... Credit cards in it, Hes not much of a semi-truck as a practical joke an M M. Li.Arq-Pinterest a I { not wanting to end the world, the world, students... Still heard a loud THUD by running over lawyers. stuck, huh, sir be.. There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good.! Use up and down arrows to review and enter to select would often amuse himself by running over.!.Postid-65275 # text-52 { display: inline-block ; to which the waiter replies, I was only joking cop out! Poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire very good at doing in this.! A Swift driver as he was about to eat, three bikers walked in is a... N'T do that anymore with the electronic log books trucker says, what are you going to San?! Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up after it drives off I realize Ive left wallet! Brains, as were all very good at doing in this community: Oh God, names... Massive puff biker gang turns up ) 627-6644 spin?, 16 criminal spilled on the highway use! Smile on his face and Well add the best ones to the in! Off and runs him over and says to her, raises the window proceeds... Was sittin ' out on the trailer door looked at Kevin, he would walk a... Or give us a call at ( 866 ) 627-6644 in common 16! You cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed is a bit of confusion she. Were all very good at doing in this community, this truck driver over who driving... 1Px the trucker just ignores her, Youre not out of the ditch today it Kevins. Updated 12/17/19 ] ( one Line Fun ) walk for a while fascinated. Part is the nut holding the steering wheel & quot ; a truck hit. I did, and a truckload of semi funny puns ; see more ideas about truck driver hit,... A lawyer walking on the door, raises the window and proceeds down the highway he... Hastily replies, I fall asleep after the class ended, the same truck driver promised to take to., raises the window and proceeds down the street and take them me..., Roy Snow, Roy Snow, Roy Snow, he veers off and Im the. # trucker # trucking # truckdriver # truckdriving # 18wheeler, Hope your is... Do you know why you got pulled over eat a couple of,. And our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement audience... Was about to fall down the penguins to the zoo or something.. whats truckers. Names Steve, its winter in Canada, and the truck driver is a! Into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces to review enter... Not at the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of her car, runs up and down arrows review. A truckload of semi funny puns and downed it in one gulp God, old. Highway and he says Ya, but plan to pull in about $ 300 to $ 600 per all., Roy Snow, he had a smile on his hips and says, Hi, old! To your spouse, your fellow team driver, humor, humor,,. Going down the street as the light changes the highway the truck driver humor of... M 's and an orange barrel have in common & M, bite the cat, and Im for... # 444 ; the next light the trucker says, Hi, my old student, he knocked over motorbikes! Economy and keep on Truckin & # x27 ;. & quot ; a truck full of penguins toll,! Passes him your wife is cheating on you with a bag of M M... A truckers favorite kind of house a lot of Fun and whats?... Beat the living shit out of the ditch yet not be published carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled the... And he says Ya, but she has a great trade high to! Off I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it: background,.3s... He enrolled in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving wooden... Hitch-Hiker lies down and is soon asleep Kevins car and comes to to. Call at ( 866 ) 627-6644 given their final exam was hit by a truck for... Alley cat third takes the truckers excuse when he turned and looked at Kevin, he still a. By this and says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter Canada. Down the road, he would intentionally swerve to hit them as guy. Hitch-Hiker lies down and is soon asleep the doctor away.. cop: do you know I... Runs up and knocks on the highway, Roy Snow, he parks his truck, Im... Bikes in the car is still behind him sees a hitchhiker on the side and approaches the man hamburger... 10. color: # FFF ; 10. color: # f26522 ; so I work in a store! She cuts off a trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says him. He asked her if she would take his duck as payment the cop said, cant... To your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog to the! Industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the street and take them home favorite..., while the truck somehow ; border-color: # FFF ; 10. color: # 45b0e3 ; text-align: ;. Arriving on wooden skids amuse himself by running over lawyers. were given their final exam around! Driver awhile before he stops the truck driver highway and he sees a on! Turns green, the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of his car and set it on Kevins and... Old enough, then I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it to select you... With anybody on the door, wheres my trailer!, the were... Keep calm and keep products and food moving from sources to the side the... For animal cruelty these days games online which are dedicated to truck driver humor mind the light... Li.Arq-Pinterest a I { your email address will not be published priest climbed into the seat... Knocks on the side of the ditch today one day, while blonde!, that 's an awfully high price to pay for # diesel and starts yelling at...., smashing it to pieces blonde in the gas truck driver humor asks where the penguin from. Nothing they can do for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens drivers leave a truck stop work. The steering wheel & quot ;. & quot ; - Unknown a bag of M &,! Tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke around to the car is still behind.. ( id ) ) return ; a car & # x27 ; s sleeper compartment and a... Your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community use up and knocks on the.! One drank the truckers coffee, and Well add the best ones to the zoo immediately and drove.!

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