2009 WSOP: Top 5 New Poker Pro Looks

Poker pros are debuting some new looks at the 2009 WSOP. Here are our top 5 so far (click all thumbs to enlarge):

EDN_2659 5. ElkY: No shocker here. ElkY changes his look more than Shannon Elizabeth changes her online sponsors. Dang, we just went there. Zing!

Fortunately ElkY isn’t going for the creepy Joker look this time, instead opting for “The Albino.” Says FOWCP B.J. Nemeth: “It’s just like high school.”

We’re expecting ElkY to sport red, blue, and a whole bunch of other colorful colors in his hair before the WSOP wraps.

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4. Lee Watkinson: Can’t put our finger on it. Either Watkinson has been working out a bunch or maybe he grew a little.

Can you do that once you’re in your 40’s? Don’t you usually gradually shrink with age? It’s like he’s the experiencing the reverse Benjamin Button effect or something.

Since we can’t nail down exactly what it is with Watkinson that has changed, we’ll just leave him at number 4.

EDN_2665 3. Andy Black: We get Andy Black was a monk for a few years which we actually think is cool, so this isn’t a really shocking look for him, but let’s just say last time we saw what’s on Andy Black’s face, it was in a 1975 copy of Playboy.

Actually, scratch that, one time in college, one of the Entity’s experienced what is on Andy Black’s face and is still finding remnants that he’s picking out of his teeth 14 years later.

Andy Black has a hairy vagina on his face.

EDN_2676 2. Jennifer Harman: Wow. Jennifer Harman grew her hair out a few inches and got seriously cute.

We’re all married to our current/first wives right now, and despite our good looks we’re actually really faithful. However, if Harman approached any of the Entities TONIGHT and said, “Hey, do you want to cuddle?” we’d be like, “Cuddle? Awwww. That’s so cute. But not as cute as you are with a couple extra inches of hair. So yeah, we’ll cuddle,” and we’re pretty sure our current/first wives would totally understand and be like, “Well, she does look super cute with her hair a few inches longer so, OK, we get it. Cuddle her all you want. Do you want us to grow our hair a few inches longer too?” to which we’d reply, “You know, adding a few extra inches to your hair apparently makes you super cute, so why don’t you try it, and here’s the thing, if you don’t like it, you can always get it cut again. That’s what’s so great about hair. Any way you slice it though, with an extra few inches of hair (that makes you look really cute) or not, we’d love you just the same.” See guys, that’s the key to a successful marriage: letting your wives grow an extra few inches of hair that makes them look cuter.

EDN_26291. Michael DeMichele: Wtf. No seriously, wtf. Apparently Michael “Glambert” DeMichele was a huge Adam Lambert fan. Probably crushed he lost to Kris Allen on American Idol. This photo doesn’t even capture the fingerless white gloves he was wearing before play began (not making that up).

But hey, if he’s happy, we’re happy. It’s a pretty ballsy makeover, and we like balls. And when we say “we like balls” we mean that in the way where “balls” is a synonym for “intestinal fortitude.” Let’s see if he “owns” it and keeps it going for the duration of the WSOP. We suggest taking it further. Introduce some leather. Snakeskin boots. Go for it. Anyway, for putting himself out there like that, no question about it, DeMichele is our number one new look at the 2009 WSOP.

 

2 Responses

  1. Kenneth L.

    May 28, 2009 9:41 pm, Reply

    LOL… the thing that’s changed with Lee Watkinson is that it isn’t Lee Watkinson… it’s Lee Markholt.

  2. Mirage

    July 28, 2009 11:15 am, Reply

    I’ve been a Jen fan since I came back to poker in ’97! Love that woman and her play. After all she’s been through, I’m happy she’s looking so good!

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