Finally. A day where no Canadians win a freaking bracelet. Jeezus. It’s like every day has been Victoria Day around here.
On with the updates…
:: Event #17 ($1,500 NLH) – Back in 2011, we made one of our all-time most obscure/favorite jokes. It was about one [ctrl+p] Athanasios Polychronopoulos. Let’s flashback:
With that said, here are the Top 3 People We’d Like to Hear Say Athanasios Polychronopoulos:
1. Marv Albert: And Athanasios Polychronopoulos hits it from downnnntownnnn!
2. Zack de la Rocha: “With their borders and boots on top of us / Pullin’ knobs on the floor like Athanasios Polychronopoulos.”
3. Bruce Buffer: Right after a Buffer 360…can’t beat that.
Maybe only John Caldwell got the Rage reference, but whatever, we laughed. Reread that full post here.
Our smarter readers who know that it’s “regardless” and not “irregardless” have probably figured out that post was written after Athanasios Polychronopoulos won his first bracelet. Well guess the fuck what? [ctrl+p] Polychronopoulos has done it again, defeating a field of 2,105 to bank bracelet #2 and $518,755. For those keeping score at home, the combined fields of Snuffaluffagus’ two wins is over 4,800. Not bad for a man of Greek descent residing in New York. Joe Cada continues his run good, keeping his nose clean and grinding out a fourth for $161,652. Get full results here.
:: Event #18 ($1,000 NLH) – Just because no Canadians won a bracelet yesterday, that doesn’t mean we won’t throw Canada a bone. When Alex Lifeson of Rush made his Rock & Roll Hall of Fame acceptance speech, all he said was “blah blah blah” for two minutes (while Neil Peart, who looks like he should be Tom Hanks’ mean older brother, gave him a death stare). Anyway, just replace “blah blah blah” with “Phil Ivey” for this event. Phil Ivey 14 remaining. Phil Ivey Phil Ivey Phil Ivey. Not Phil Ivey is chip leader. Phil Ivey 9th in chips. Phil Ivey bracelet #10. Get full phil ivey’s phil ivey.
:: Event #19 ($5,000 Pot Limit Hold’em) – A total of 16 of the starting field of 195 remain. First will pay out $224,560. Jesse Martin is the chip leader. Also remaining include Davidi Kitai, Kristina Holst, a woman who upon first Google image search we thought was this but upon further searching turned out to be not so much like that, Dan Kelly, Dario Mini-eri, John Hennigan, Kevin Vandersmissen, whose last name would be much more entertaining if it was Vanderslice, Eugene Katchalov, Bertrand Grospellier, and the wildly charming Matt Marafioti. Get full chip counts here.