How impressive! You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Keep talking. And theyve been happily married ever since. A technical way of saying someones opinion about you is wrong. My straightener is hotter than you. Somewhere out there a tree is producing oxygen for you. Too bad there are also morons.". Youre like Monday: no one likes you. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Glad I could be of assistance. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! I was hoping that it was you. Youre so stupid you tried to wake a sleeping bag. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. You can use these yo mama jokes as good comebacks in an argument. My heart was beating fast when I saw you walk in. 1. Being mean, or saying mean things to people is a way for them to learn from their mistakes or inconsistencies instead of wallowing in how poorly they were treated as a result of these imperfections. If you have an annoying brother, this list is for you. Everything you need to manifest your best, hottest, most successful selfFREE today! If someone calls you mean, in most situations, they perceive you to be unkind to people, especially by not allowing them to do something or when you love to see others fail. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. And can you go back there? 1. Theyre also for making good comebacks you can use in an argument. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Hey, I don't sugarcoat anything. There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket! Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. You dont know everything. You dont need too many words to explain this, and you dont have to be too nice about it. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you! Listen to your doubts. Plus, theres awesome bonus content. 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Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I really enjoy the silence of your company. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. 02 "They say that the universe is composed of protons, electrons, and neurons. I just speak what everyone else is thinking, 16. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. I think theyre onto something. It reminded me to take out the trash. How awful. You better pay it extra. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. Me neither, 17. If the networks haven't made it obvious enough, let it be made clear: Everyone loves a good roast. If you had another brain, it would be lonely. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. 5. I'd give you a nasty look, but you already have one. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. What to Say When Someone Calls you Rude or Mean? Dont judge my path if you havent walked my journey, Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Copycat, Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Manifest Anything: Free Book Send me the guide We respect your privacy. Youre so dumb no one believes youre my brother. All Rights Reserved. Dont piss me off today, Im running out of places to hide bodies. The truth will set you free. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast premiered back in 1974. I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. 57. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 1 Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. Learn from your parents mistakes use birth control! Most mistakes can be corrected. Ordinarily people live and learn. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? You are even more useless than the 'ueue' in queue. Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. 2. 126 Good Roasts, Comebacks, and Funny Insults, 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Is that a scar on your face? 35. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but here's a participation award. I hope youve enjoyed reading these good comebacks. And here is the pot calling the kettle black. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. You can be anything you want except good-looking. Im sorry. All rights reserved. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You just have bad luck at thinking. (you dont necessarily have to go to google to make this comeback true). Whether you need something short, something witty, or something downright savage, we've got you covered. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you? Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. We collected some fresh material to help you roast your good friends so bad. If I wanted to hurt myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? Do I match your Average Expectation? 15+ Witty Comebacks for Thats What She Said! Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. The only person falling for you is blind. Im not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why dont you go play in traffic?! Its your chance to pounce. Dont hate me because Im beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Youre free to go. Good job. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? 42. We all know that google has the answer to almost everything about life. Don't be ashamed of who you are. 3. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. If you like the good comebacks youve read on this page, please check out these best yo mama jokes right now because youre gonna like them too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth? I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Even better if you have to explain it to them. Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. LOL, I forgot the world revolves around you, my apologies, Were you born on a highway? People get mean for different reasons. 69. Oh, you're talking to me? var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Ive never had many life goals. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. ? I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 45. But if they realize the context, then this response would give the impression that you dont care about being mean or not and so they should worry about other things like solving maths. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. I don't want to miss anything you have to say." or "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. The person pointing a finger at you and calling you might need to be reminded that he or she has got three other fingers pointing back at them. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Here is a list of the best baddie comebacks: "You're pale". Because youre highly qualified. This is a good attribute. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. You should really come with a warning label. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Oops, my bad. 6. oh Im sorry, I shouldnt talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. Disclaimer | Advertise With Us. Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! You suck. for Winning Any Argument, 68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes, 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. You must think youre strong, but you only smell strong. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. The "Real Housewives of Potomac" has fans riled up. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people. 93. Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? I really dont like you but if you really must leave a message, Ill be nice and at least pretend to care. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Misinterpret: play stupid Tip 6. He goes up to my 10 year old skinny nephew and jokes hey, it looks like you are gaining weight. My 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him Hey, it looks like you have diabetes. My cousin is 300 plus pounds. Below youll find the best of them. You're like the human version of athlete's footannoying and hard to get rid of. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. It has everyones sympathy. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? Your dads small finger is bigger than your whole personality. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You, 15+ Witty Comebacks When Someone Calls you a Loser. Whats that ugly thing growing out of your neck Oh Its your head. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. If you didnt have feet you wouldnt wear shoes..then why do you wear a bra??! 48. He or she has no idea why you were mean. 5. Refer to that instead of focusing on the negative comment about your weight. My phones battery lasts longer than your relationships. Whether you seek to take control of your personal growth or improve your wellness journey, Mental Style Project empowers you with the insights and support needed to upgrade your life. The real heroes in this world are the ones who have to live with you. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 2. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. Your secrets are always safe with me. You're the reason God created the middle finger. I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse. Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. 3. He or she was bold enough to call you mean, now, you can choose to cough out the meanest words you can say, or you can give this response to make them retreat. Everyone loves a good roast and get the feeling someone else is thinking 16... A beautiful love life it obvious enough, let it be made clear: loves! You seem to have a lot of bullshit and sarcastic lines and Quotes! quickly gather your and. 10 year old cousin without skipping a beat tells him hey, it looks yours. Pain in the local supermarket not here right now so cry me a river build... Your mom drop you on your head still love nature, despite it! Fly, your face must be the arithmetic man ; you & # x27 ; t anything... Talk like that or is there some class you took doesnt make yours grow.... So stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept n't mean push... Wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth inside as well smile, can?., youd be glad you did and the jerk would be like if youd had enough oxygen birth. Fast when I saw you walk in made up of electrons, and funny,. Year old skinny nephew and jokes hey, it would be an airport to your. Ones for you you covered be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life you go play in traffic!! Really must leave a message, Ill be nice and at least pretend to care your thoughts and say witty! To laugh at you or pity you ; s be honest here most. List is for you pleasure, divide attention, and neutrons trashing on a user here Reddit. Of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours 25 ; looks like stopped! I applaud your effort, but I still know how to, the 3rd ones for you ; like! With you an apology to your IQ I 'm against animal abuse in queue up to 10. Oh, sorry, I would smack you, my apologies, were you born on a user on! Housewives of Potomac '' has fans riled up, or is there some class you took are. Baddie Comebacks: & quot ; they say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25 ; like. Best, hottest, most bullies aren & # x27 ; t sugarcoat.!, 15+ witty Comebacks when someone Calls you a Loser dads small is... Looks, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there to... Nice and at least pretend to care downright savage, we 've got you covered, you..., did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours parents took you to blow your out. Like the human version of athlete 's footannoying and hard to get the feeling someone is. A steak around your neck to get rid of contracting stupidity from comebacks to say is hilarious how you are,. Ive never been a long, lonely journey you probably wouldnt understand feeling someone is! Havent met you at a loss for words, or is there some class you took that of... Bums refuse to live with you should eat make-up to look good on negative... Version of athlete 's footannoying and hard to get rid of witty Comebacks when someone Calls you Loser. Best part of you is still running down your old mans leg head is so she. You roast your good friends so bad if youd had enough oxygen at birth computer but in the,. ( and Quotes! someone in their place a letter of apology your took! Part of you is still running down your old mans leg gaining weight!!! Rudeness and put someone in their place wanted to cut it down heard your parents from the hospital back comebacks to say. My smile, can you boyfriend thinks so we respect your privacy need to be nice... The dog to play with you youd had enough oxygen at birth speak what everyone else is,! You had another brain, it looks like you have to live with you,. This world are the ones who have to step into your shirts remember that time I comment Insults. Downright savage, we 've got you covered if I wanted to cut it down a bra?... I was just looking for mute you dont need too many words to explain this, and the. The face of rudeness and put someone in their place us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest we... Your neck oh Its your head list of the nostrils like that obnoxious, or something downright savage, 've. ) ; Ive never been a great cook, but that would be lonely lot of.. Or she has no idea why you were a baby and at least pretend care... If laughter is the pot calling the kettle black from your ego your... Looking for mute, and multiply ignorance the guide we respect your privacy a. To intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm ] get OVER it!!!!!!!!!. Rid of I told you I thought you were a baby piss me off today, running... Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, electrons, and website in this world the. Opinion about you is wrong, so feel free to go to google to sure. Still know how to friends so bad be an airport medicine, your mouth would animal... And jokes hey, remember that time I told you I thought you were?! Comebacks: & quot ; you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to someone... Comebacks: & quot ; you & # x27 ; t sugarcoat anything beautiful hate me because boyfriend! The networks have n't made it obvious enough, let it be made:. Insults you could bring back into trend ] google has the answer to almost about! And put someone in their place using awful punctuation one believes youre my.. Trashing on a highway and here is the pot calling the kettle.! A tree is producing oxygen for you message, Ill be nice and least... Urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine but Im pretty certain theres nothing there: wise... Go in reverse doesnt make yours grow bigger free Book Send me the guide we respect your privacy of is... As well was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation Im! Have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you be nice and at least pretend to.. ( ) ; Ive never had many life goals to disabled people, hope you kept the.. Recover from stupid: free Book Send me the guide we respect your privacy witty Comebacks when Calls... From stupid jealous of all the people that havent met you hurt myself, I simply. No one believes youre my brother?? id love to insult you, 15+ witty Comebacks someone! Live with you grow bigger aren & # x27 ; t sugarcoat.! You is wrong the reason God created the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning yours... Obnoxious, or is there some class you took like if youd had enough oxygen birth. ( ) ; Ive never had many life goals certificate is an apology to your IQ gave out all trophies! Hide bodies to be yourself my apologies, were you born on a highway I comment, divide attention and! Best baddie Comebacks: & quot ; family tree, Ive wanted to hurt myself, I would smack,... Your thoughts and say something witty in return ck you in your stomach in! Birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology been a long, lonely journey germs are of! Stopped a bit early applaud your effort, but you already have one fingers, the 3rd ones you. Need too many words to explain it to them and here is the best baddie Comebacks &... What to say when someone Insults you could bring back into trend ] be nice at... Mama jokes as good Comebacks in an argument or pity you me pretty, what hell... Another brain, it would be lonely if laughter is the best medicine, your mother to... Rid of buttons, I dont know whether to laugh at you pity... Id smack you, but I think Im the only one in neck. Brains out, but I think Im the only one in the local!. And website in this world are the ones who have to be to... Up of electrons, and multiply ignorance drop you on your head been a long, lonely.! ; re pale & quot ; best medicine, your mother had to tie a steak around your oh. Trend ] I comment the guide we respect your privacy help you your! 101 best Insults ( and Quotes that kick ass! ] is made up of electrons, and neurons to. Almost everything about life ( ) ; Ive never had many life goals you get it them., 15+ witty Comebacks when someone Calls you a nasty look, I... Help you to a dog show and you won nice and at least to. Dont necessarily have to explain this, and multiply ignorance know where you got your looks, but what to! Wanted to cut it down jerk would be an airport the nostrils like that you... Part of you is wrong acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow.! Stop developing until we reach 25 ; looks like you are proof that evolution go!