Best of the Worst

With nine players who have (theoretically) played the best in this year’s WSOP remaining, it got us thinking of the WORST plays we’ve seen over the past week.  Here’s our list (from least worst to most worstest):

Fbomber_1 9) Brit Barry Paskin wearing the same "Beckham" shirt two days in row…which, from the smell of it, he actually wore something like two years in a row.  How does this qualify as a bad play?  First, the odor of Paskin’s "lucky" shirt had to disrupt his concentration.  Had to.  Other-wordly kind of smell.  McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries fart in a hot car bad.  Second, when the tournament officials actually made him change shirts, Paskin went on mini-tilt, again, breaking his concentration.  For a man that didn’t strike us as having terribly great focus to begin with, this would be tantamount to having the button and checking a straight flush on the river. 

8)  Speaking of checking a straight flush on the river… that actually did happen.  Some Internet clown didn’t realize they turned a straight flush and checked it down to the river.  Nope, wasn’t trying to trap…just didn’t know.  Gotta love Internet players.  The fact that we don’t win every single online SNG is depressing.  Spot #8 was almost occupied by James Woods though.  Why?  Woods checked quad 3‚Äôs on the river!  Since Woods at least won SOME money for his hand though, we’re letting it slide.  Worst part is, Woods set it up perfectly until then.  With pocket 3‚Äôs, Woods limps and is in a three-way pot.  Flop comes up A-A-K.  Woods bets, one guy folds, the other calls.  Turn is a 3, giving Woods a boat.  He bets again and is quickly called.  River is another 3.  He acts flustered.  Upset.  What an actor!!! He checks.  The guy quickly checks.  Woods, hoping to set a trap (yet failing, so much for another Oscar nod), flips over his quads.  The other guy just mucks.  Pretty hard to think the guy was calling Woods down with J-10, so Woods missed an opportunity to get more chips out of someone (he called all the way down, so what‚Äôs one more call?).  The lesson: never check the nuts on the river.  There‚Äôs no guarantee the other guy will bet. 

Poopin 7)  Chops using a men’s room stall just seconds after Elix Powers.  Let’s just say the chicken sandwiches sold outside the Rio convention center didn’t sit well with Chops.  And Chops didn’t sit well knowing that, as he rushed to the men’s room, the only open stall was just vacated by one Elix "Jack high!" Powers.  You wanna talk about stench?  Paskin ain’t got nothing on Powers.

Tiff_2 6)  Tiffany Williamson lives to tell about her bad play.  Holding A-Q with a board of K-J-x, Tiffany Williamson takes about 10 minutes on Day 1 to decide about calling an all in.  She called.  Had a miracle ten not hit on the river, she would’ve been out of the tournament.  But it hit.  Hats off to her for some solid play after that, but sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good…

5) Just cause it works on Poker Stars against a bunch of donkeys… doesn’t mean it works at the WSOP.  We saw a load of bad Internet players lose a boatload of money.  Too many hands to even keep track of, or know where to start.  But let’s go with this one: Mid-position guy raises 2x the blind, and the big blind calls with pocket Jacks (no re-raise, just calls).  Flop comes up K-K-6.  BB checks, MP bets, BB calls.  Turn is an Ace.  BB checks.  MP bets.  BB calls.  River is a three.  BB checks.  MP bets. BB calls.  You think the MP had a hand better than Jacks?  Yep, he turns over K-Q.  Never a re-raise (or lead out bet) from the BB to see where he stood.   Just flat-called more than half his stack away with Jacks.  Unbelievable.  Came back about 10 minutes later and he was gone.

Elmo_1 4) Elmo is for little kids…not adults trying to win $7.5M!!!  This grown man was told to take off his Elmo head by the WSOP tournament director.  One day, this guy is going to have to explain to his kids why daddy, "had a chance to win $7.5M but decided to look like a tool and lose focus cause it would be hilarious to don an Elmo head!  It just KILLED my buddies back home in Oklahoma!  Junior, get me a Pabst."  Classic. 

Also, this is easily and by far our favorite picture of the entire WSOP…the moment Elmo was told to remove his Muppet head.  You can just see the realization of shame he’s having right through those googily eyes.

3)  Act like you’ve won a hand before…ever…in your life.  As ubiquitious as the sound of shuffling chips was the sound of yahoos cheering themselves and celebrating after winning each and every all-in showdown.  "Come one baby!!!  Yes!!!  Yeeeeessss!!!"  It’s not like you just lost your virginity, or scored the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl.  Best of all, you heard just as money yahoos yelling on bubble survival day as you did on Day 1 when there was still 5,000 players left.

Tobyhiding_1 2)  Peter Parker was a geek and so are you.  As an actor, we’re fans of Toby Maguire’s work.  Hard not to be.  And real poker players respect Maguire’s game.  This is one actor who CAN play.  But Toby Maguire ruined his Main Event chances by putting himself on tilt because he did not want to have his photo taken during play.  He was continuously putting his hands over his face, or laying forward with his head on the table, missing action and valuable reads on people.  Or, more hilariously, causing players to say, "Hey Spidey, it’s your turn!"  As a result, Maguire was gone before Day 1 was even close to being over.  At least he did better than bud Oliver Hudson, who was knocked out on the first hand by Sammy Farha (to Hudson’s credit, his boat was sunk by a better boat, so it was understandable).

Harringtonseenoevil_1 1)  For all of the great Action Dan plays, there is one equal and opposite terribly bad re-action Dan play.  Dan Harrington is, without question, one of the greatest no limit tournament players of all-time (and one of our favorites).  That’s why we’re still shocked at the play Action Dan made to knock himself out of the WSOP.  On the very first hand after being moved to a new table, Action Dan takes a seat and finds himself in mid-position.  He has 15,000 left (average stack is a little over 30,000, but 15k was still manageable and the blinds and antes were not crippling by any means).  Folds all around to Harrington.  Action Dan checks his hole cards and announces "All in".  Fold…fold…then the button peeks at his cards and starts freaking out over the decision.  He eventually calls, flipping over A-Qo.  Action Dan shows pocket 5’s.  An Ace hits on the flop, and that’s that.  Harrington’s run of WSOP final tables is finished.  The question…why risk your tournament life in an unraised pot in mid-position with a low pocket pair when your 15k would’ve only scooped a little over 2k worth of blinds and antes?  Maybe Dan had gotten so used to Internet goons making the same play, he went temporarily insane.  Not sure, but we do know if anyone will not make that mistake again, it’s Harrington.

 

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