One thing we tell our current/first wives over and over again is this: no one should stop kids from playing poker and no kid should stop us from playing poker so if you want to have kids with us then keep this in mind now I’m off to play poker see you on Monday.
And they’re cool with that, because they’re cool.
So keep the above tucked away as we go off on a parenthesis-and-comma-drenched rant about Brad Pitt, poker, adopted kids and Angelina Jolie.
Says Weintraub, "It was inspired by Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, guys I hung around with all my life, who made the original Ocean’s Eleven."
And this is where the kids come in. Or not. You see, Brad has reportedly been bringing two of his kids (the adopted Cambodian and Ethiopian ones) to the set of Ocean’s 13 on a daily basis. Yes, very fatherly and sweet of him. The man is busy acting and has an exclusive on-set poker lounge at his disposal and he still opts to bring his kids to work. But of course “bringing the kids to work” is merely Hollywoodspeak for “dropping the kids off at the daycare at work to play with everyone elses’ adopted kids from third world countries,” and in Brad’s case, all while you are busy acting and playing poker in your exclusive on-set poker lounge inspired by Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack.
For the record, we’d be willing to wager that Sinatra and
But this also begs the question that we plan to beg our wives with when we have kids: why can’t she watch them?
We thought it might’ve been because she has started to love them less, which is common when someone has a real child after first adopting a child. But Jolie–a woman who epitomizes the stereotype of the super hot but weird mom/actress who goes to Africa to do do-gooder things for less fortunate people while being all weird and bisexual and incestuous with her brother while estranged from her famous dad but who we’d still bang until her eyes rolled back in her head because, well, she seems like she’d be good at it, or at least our equals in that category–it turns out, has started filming A Mighty Heart, where if history repeats itself, which we hear it has a tendency to do, she’ll strike up a passionate romance with co-star Dan Futterman, leaving the tabloids abuzz about FutterPitt or Futterlina, which will leave her union with Pitt in shambles while he just grinds it out at the poker table totally oblivious to the fact that his wife is headboard denting it with yet another co-star.
But at least his wife is cool enough to let him leave for awhile to go play poker.
Which has now got us thinking, and frankly, quite worried.
[running, car door opens, car ignition cranks, car tires screetching]