Calgarian Pastor: “And Among Jesus’s Many Miracles, He Pulled A One-Outter On the River For the Nuts…”

Chops here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve attended a church function that didn’t involve someone’s wedding, funeral, or baptism. 

It’s not that I’m not religious…OK maybe it is.  Sure, I believe in a God, but after that, I’m not sure what I believe, other than I KNOW God DOESN’T want me to blow myself up in an effort to kill others who have different religious beliefs as me (and Him) on my way to being rewarded with 72 virgins.  I AM about 100% sure in that belief.

But otherwise, instead of choosing sides, I choose to worship in my own uninvolved, distant way.  And if God created me in His image, I hope He understands and is cool with that, because that kind of Pastorcopy_1understanding is why I love Him so.  For real [thumping chest/heart region twice with closed fist].

So yeah, church attendance doesn’t totally fit in with my way of worship.


…if I lived in the great province of Calgary in America Jr., I would somehow find my way to the West Hillhurst Community Centre on 19 St. and 6 Ave. N.W. tomorrow at 10:10am.

Because a great man, a Prophet some might say, named John Van Sloten (pictured right) has figured out a way to link two of the most powerful forces affecting human behavior in the history of the world: 1) religion, and 2) poker.


Van Sloten apparently is nothing like the Romanian priest for Negoesti village in Gorj county who was caught playing poker two weeks ago. No, Van Sloten is much more than that.

John Van Sloten "gets it."

Quote Van Sloten, "Right now, everybody’s interested in poker…Ever since the hockey strike, it has proliferated to become a phenomenon that is sweeping across the world."

Continues Van Sloten, "In my view, poker has a lot to teach us about ourselves and even about God…I hope to talk about how God made us for gambling, how every human is made for the adrenalized-risk buzz of the game and how this is what a real and alive faith should feel like."

Centre1_1Moses.  Matthew.  Luke.  Van Sloten.

If any of our Calgarian readers happen upon the West Hillhurst Community Centre (at left) for Van Sloten’s message, please email us at and let us know how it goes. 

And if you don’t live in America Jr. and can’t make it to the Centre, you’re not S.O.L. You can listen to Van Sloten’s message here. For the full Van Sloten story, read the Calgary Sun.


3 Responses

  1. Anonymous

    January 31, 2006 1:32 pm, Reply

    If God wanted us to exploit Him for our benefit, He’d have made things a little different. I don’t think that gambling is a positive thing overall. In order for one to make money, another has to lose it. Not sure that God is taking sides! Okay, maybe He took Moneymaker’s side; but He quickly realized His mistake and balanced the scales again.

  2. cgpop

    January 31, 2006 7:04 pm, Reply

    How about if those dudes get like…I don’t know, 31 virgins, do you think they get pissed off? This is a hypothetical question.

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