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David is choking on some food again?
“Are you serious, you really want 4 double cheeseburgers??”
“One more time… a straight beats a flush? Or is it the other way around?”
“What do you mean your going back to her.. No you are mine.. You are mine forever!”
“What do you mean Full Tilt wants to promote that Strip Poker DVD? Hell yeah I’m in! It still has my fack last name, right? Ok, good.”
“What do you mean Full Tilt wants to promote that Strip Poker DVD? Hell yeah I’m in! It still has my fake last name on it, right? OK, good.”
“erica, this is jack bauer. there is a man sitting at your table named shawn “sheiky” sheikhan. he has a bomb strapped to his waste. A BOMB. erica, this is the first step in a massive plot by shawn’s sleeper cell to disrupt the WSOP. erica, you must create a diversion so i can come in and STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING. something involving you removing your shirt may work. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???!!! erica, we are RUNNING OUT OF TIME.”
“Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”
You lost How much?????
what do you mean you’re gay David?
David, if you say, “That’s what she said” one more time….I swear I’m gonna go screw chops to get even.
“Camel toe? Who is this and how did you know that? Are you somewhere in the room right now?”
“Look David, I know I called that guy a no limit ass clown, but there is no way I could beat him in HU freeze out…I couldn’t afford to play a 10 SNG if you weren’t bankrolling me…”
Ok, I’ll get a booob job
I know we spent our life savings on the buy in to the Main Event, but don’t worry, I’ve got a ten thousand dollar tournament chip in my pocket. If I bust out, I’ll just go cash that and I’m even.
“It’s okay. You ate the cat. That’s only happened once before, baby. Remember, you can’t eat if you’re losing on Full Tilt with both hands. Just remember that, baby. I gotta go. Put Patches out on the porch just to be safe, k?”
Wait … what … it is after Labor Day?
Go Green! Go White!
“There’s a ginger? Where? At the table behind me? Ahhhh gross. Sick!”
Carmen? When do we we start filming “Carmen Electra Poker Strip Tease #2″? I just went busto again and David needs more food.
Hello Target? Yeah I am wearing your new summer line. What does pwn mean??? Hello??? THIS WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL!!!
Yes, I’m moving my hand towards it now. But I still say my pants are too tight to be able to reach it through my pocket. Um, don’t tell David, okay? I guess they were wrong about you, Daniel, you sexy sick beast.
“I am not pregnant are you?”
“I am not pregnant are you?”
Hey, Clonie, what’s up? You’re suing Full Tilt Poker?? Really? Well I just heard your real name’s “Cycalona.” Girl, forget about FTP, with a name like that you should be suing your parents.
whadda you mean the coke was stolen?
Mr B. I have seven-deuce and a man went all-in. what do i do?
“Hi David, I told you not to call me at work! Has that boy Krantz been picking on you again? I’ll kick his scrawny ass.”
“Listen, Chops, thanks for being persistent and all, but I don’t know….I mean….a ‘Friday night Farting Shot’ girl….it just sounds too weird for me…”
“Hey Clonie, it’s Erica. Here’s the deal. I get half of the proceeds from that lawsuit or those pictures go out on the internet.”
So… How many buy-in’s do I get if I sleep with you and another woman?