Card Player is Good at Paraphrasing

SherylcrowIn the latest issue of its critically acclaimed Daily, Card Player decided to show off its wicked paraphrasing chops.

See, if you’re like us, when you think poker, you think Sheryl Crow. So obviously Card Player is just like us. Because they think of Sheryl Crow. When they think about poker.

From the latest Daily:

To paraphrase Sheryl Crow, ‚ÄúEvery day is a poker game…I get a little bit closer.‚Äù

Seriously, you see the connection, right? So this got us thinking, what other Sheryl Crow songs could be paraphrased to sort of mean something vaguely about poker?

Here’s some options that we spent 37 seconds coming up with:

“I like a good chip stack early in the morning…and Billy Baxter likes being in the poker HOF.”
“I said a change (in gears, would do you good), would do you good.”
“I’m Leaving Las Vegas/Got sucked out/Palm sweat, running a bluff/On a Saturday night/Leaving Las Vegas/Leaving for good, for good.”
“God, I feel like hell tonight/Don’t know why I played so tight/Why can’t I understand/That facing a re-raise with A-K I need to make a stand…”

Actually, those suck. And now we have a Sheryl Crow pic up on the site instead of Jessica Simpson, or even fan favorite Madeleine Rowan. Normally, we’d accept the blame for this, but clearly fault lays squarely on the shoulders of Card Player for this one. So we reluctantly must blame them.



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