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Humor

One More Time for PIUS HEINZ

by Wicked Chops Entity on 11.9.2011 in Humor | 1 comment

It’s so inexplicably weird and random that it’s kind of awesome.

For whatever reason, whenever PIUS HEINZ won a hand, his German supporters in the crowd began singing “Na na na na na na na na now, Pius Heinz, Pius Pius Heinz” to the tune of KC & the Sunshine Band‘s “Baby Give it Up.” It happened, oh, maybe 100 times over the past few days.

So for us and all of the other poker media–the song is embedded in our head and likely will be for awhile.

It’s not like this song was popular the year when PIUS HEINZ was born. It came out about a decade before he was conceived. And as far as we know, it’s not like this song is the German equivalent of say, “Don’t Stop Believing” for us. Or that “Baby Give it Up” sounds anything like “PIUS HEINZ.” It’s…just…random.

So enjoy the song one more time for the 2011 WSOP Main Event winner. Off to iTunes to download it now. Dammit.

Tagged as: 2011 WSOP Main Event, Baby Give it Up, KC & the Sunshine Band, Pius Heinz

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Isaac, You Are Not the Father Is The New Andrew, You Are Not the Father

by Wicked Chops Entity on 10.23.2011 in Humor | 3 comments

As regular readers of our site know, we love the Maury Povich DNA paternity test shows. Riveting TV. We think these shows should be in prime-time. Just as quality television as Mad Men, Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Walking Dead and American Idol.

And as you know, of all of the potential fathers who were not the father, Andrew (here) is by far and away our favorite.

However, Andrew now has a challenger to his throne.

Meet Isaac (above video).

The one minute and forty seconds of this video is so captivating, we’d confidently stack it up again almost any one minute and forty seconds of video ever produced. You’ll be glued. We’re so impressed with it, in fact, we breakdown all key elements of the video after the jump.

[click to continue…]

Tagged as: Andrew you are not the father, DNA, Isaac you are not the father, Maury Povich

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WSOP By the Digits: Main Event Day 8

by Wicked Chops Entity on 7.19.2011 in Humor | no comments

40,892 - Number of times we've heard that Erika Moutinho and David Sands are a couple.

After a one hour break, play is about to get underway again at the 2011 WSOP Main Event.

Like the movie Fast and Furious, action has been fast and furiousTM, as the field has already been reduced from 22 to 14.

With that in mind, here’s our latest WSOP by the DigitsTM.

14 – Number of players remaining in the 2011 WSOP Main Event as ESPN move to live coverage.

3 – Players (Ben Lamb, Bryan Devonshire, and Phil Collins) that if they get eliminated will cause many to rank this as the worst ME final table of all time.

8pm – About the time everyone in the so-called poker “media” is praying this ends by tonight.

2am – The time this will most likely end by…

7pm – …unless Ben Lamb wants it to end by 7pm. That’s right, he’s running so good, he can even control time at this point.

21 – Age of current chip leader Anton Makievskyi, which would make him the youngest ME champ of all-time.

$75 – Cost of membership to snag yourself a Ukrainian mail order bride, which would make you a horny old man.

1,749 – Number of generally awkward or uncomfortable comments Lon McEachern has made during the live broadcasts. Somebody get that man a teleprompter.

62 (and counting…) – Approximate number of days longer it’s taken Full Tilt Poker to pay back U.S. players than PokerStars. Tilt, just because the Main Event has dominated news the past two weeks doesn’t mean this little issue hasn’t gone away yet. Don’t mean to ruin your day again, Ray Bitar, but handle your business.

Get more real WSOP facts and figures at BLUFF here.

Follow the rest of the 2011 WSOP Main Event here.

Tagged as: WSOP by the Digits

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WSOP by the Digits(TM): Main Event Day 7

by Wicked Chops Entity on 7.18.2011 in Humor | no comments

NOBODY can lick WSOP by the Digits...well, Victoria Moore can.

The 2011 WSOP Main Event will play down from 57 to 18 (originally scheduled to be 27) today beginning at 12pm PT.

Since nobody in the so-called poker “media” has created or copied a WSOP by the DigitsTM concept, we figured it was a good time to roll-out our second installment of WSOP by the DigitsTM to cover all things Day 7.

10 – On a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being the hottest, how hot the above picture of Victoria Moore is (see the whole NSFW version of it here).

0 – On a scale of 1-10, how hot this photo is.

1 – How many women remain in the 2011 WSOP Main Event field. In related news, here are Erika Moutinho poker pictures.

2 – By our count, how many gingers remain in the field, including current chip leader, Ryan Lenaghan, a ginger.

35 – Approximate number of “pros” who remain in the field, according to this (scroll down), meaning we should have a pro-heavy final table.

4 – Approximate number that the casual poker audience would actually identify as “pros” (Erick Lindgren, Steve Brecher (recent WPT final table on FSN), “Sugary” Tony Hachem (confusing him for Joe), and Minh Nguyen (confusing him with any number of older Asian pros)).

1 – Number of “name pros” the mass poker audience would be able to identify (Erick Lindgren).

57.8% – Percentage of remaining field that hails from U.S. America.

0% – Percentage of remaining field that hails from Japan.

70 – Place that Matt Salsberg, executive producer of Weeds, finished.

2 – Seasons since Weeds kind of ran off the tracks.

For more in-depth/relevant WSOP facts and figures, go here.

Tagged as: WSOP by the Digits

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WSOP By The Digits

by Wicked Chops Entity on 7.17.2011 in Humor | 1 comment

We may suck at math math math but that's not stopping us from rolling out WSOP by the Digits.

Crazy that nobody has come up with or copied a WSOP by the DigitsTM type concept this year. Seems like a no-brainer for easy content.

However, since nobody has created or copied a WSOP by the DigitsTM type concept, we will.

Here’s our first 2011 WSOP by the DigitsTM:

0 – Poker media companies that have attempted or copied a WSOP by the DigitsTM concept.

1,758,947 – Number of Phil Collins jokes or references current chip leader Phil Collins has had to endure during his life to date.

10,987,651 – Number of Phil Collins jokes or references current chip leader Phil Collins will endure if he makes the November Nine.

10,000,000 – Number of copies that No Jacket Required sold in the ’80′s.

500,000 – The amount of dollars somebody would’ve signed Claudia Crawford by now if she made this run in 2010.

25.2% – Percentage of Google traffic that Claudia Crawford poker related searches has generated today (not kidding).

5 – People who thought that “Epic Poker League” was a good name for the Epic Poker League.

$5 – Cost of a Subway $5 foot-long.

1 – Number of people named “Zohair” remaining in the field with 90 left (Zohair Karim).

$100,018,837 – Total domestic box office gross of You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.

For more number related WSOP facts and figures, go here.

For more pics of hot MMA ring girls, go here.

Tagged as: featured, WSOP by the Digits

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