All right, so a couple of days before the pictures were published of him smoking a bong, we were going to break the news that Michael Phelps was set to play in the 2009 NBC National Heads Up Poker Championship.
Then the aforementioned photos of Michael Phelps smoking a bong were published, and now his "handlers" won't let him even come to Las Vegas for paid speaking engagements, or even worse bang slutty cocktail waitresses. So let's just say the announced field is lacking poker player/Olympian Michael Phelps and acknowledge we won't be seeing him around for awhile.
On the card this year are far more Euros, including Bertrand Grospellier, 12 year-old fem phenom Dario Minieri, Ilari "Ziigmund" Sahamies, Glen Chorny (Canadian but whatever), 2008 WSOP Main Event champ Peter Eastgate, and Ivan Demidov.
For the first time ever the NBC National Heads-Up will have a lesbian contestant in Vanessa Selbst. Not a lesbian but one half of the best lesbian scene in a movie ever (well in a non-hardcore-porn movie at least), Jen Tilly is back on the line-up.
Not making it on the list this year is Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth. However, Celebrity Apprentice's Annie Duke will of course be present.
Finally, Huck Seed is again playing and again our perennial pick to win it all. One time Huck. One time.
2008 World Championship of Online Poker Main Event winner Carter 'ckingusc' King has come forward and said it was his bong that Michael Phelps was snapped taking a pull from last November.
King is now facing a marijuana possession charge from South Carolina police.
Says King in a 2+2 thread:
“thats funny cause thats my house my bong and my computer in the background and the only thing that story got right was that its him in the picture. there i said it.“
King also said he did not try to sell the bong on eBay. Read more at Bluff Magazine here.
In related news, Phelps apparently is finding safe refuge in strip clubs now (link). In further related news, below is Bill Maher's take on the Phelps bong story. Thanks to reader Gravity King for the link.
The bong that poker player/Olympian Michael Phelps was photographed pulling from was briefly for sale on eBay before "authorities" pulled it down.
The bong was listed around $100,000 (or as Phil Ivey likes to call it, "about 12 big blinds") before it got yanked. This is substantially more money than the urinal mint that Jamie Gold pee'd on was going for back in '06.
Between snapping and selling a cell phone pic of Phelps hitting the bong to the highest bidder and actually trying to fetch a brick for the bong itself, these are the most industrious/capitalist stoners we've ever heard of. What ever happened to just selling grilled cheese sandwiches at Dead concerts?
At the same South Carolina house party where he was snapped sucking on a bong, the Olympics hero lost a pile of money betting in a high-stakes session of the drinking game beer pong, in which players wing pingpong balls into plastic cups. “I saw Phelps pull out a roll, a bank-wrapped $2,000. He said, ‘I’ll match the $2,000,’ ” onlooker Michael Whitworth told the State newspaper. “Good ol’ Phelpsie lost it, too.”
Phelps, come on over here. Let’s talk. You’re a degen. Embrace it. Instead of holding back and just being a poor man’s Gavin Smith, come on over to the dark side and embrace being the Michael Phelps we all know you want to be. Leave the whole “swimming” thing to Aquaman. He’s got it covered. We know you have it in you, Phelpsie. And if you don’t do it for yourself, then do it for the kids. Be a role model. Atta boy.
In related Phelps news, looks like his “people” are trying to keep him as far away from Vegas as possible. Read here.
Not sure if you've heard this yet, but Michael Phelps was caught hitting a bong recently.
Let's face it, Phelps probably isn't going to go within 50 metres of a bong for the rest of his life (fortunately for him, Dr. Pauly probably has a 50 metre bong, so hook him up good doctor).
Piling on the Phelps bong bashing bandwagon is SNL and Seth Meyers. This "Really?" segment is actually really funny, depriving us of the chance to make the requisite "SNL sucks…" jokes everyone feels compelled to make even though the watch the show anyway.
Less than a week after pictures surfaced of poker player/Olympian Michael Phelps hitting a bong, he's already lost a major sponsor (Kellogg & Co.) and is now serving a (mostly symbolic) suspension U.S. America Swimming.
Says Phelps about the suspension:
"I have nothing to say, but if that's they want to do, that's their choice. It's something that USA Swimming came up with. It's fair. Obviously, for a mistake you should get punished."
The bigger story here completely overlooked by the mainstream media is: what will this all do to Phelps' poker career? After final tableing a Caesar's event, and palling around with terroristsPhil Ivey and Jeff Madsen, many expected a run at some major tourneys in 2009. Can't see his handlers letting him hang with a bunch of degens now–well, unless he's managed by Jamie Gold's old PR team.
Below are a bunch of talking heads belaboring the same tired points about Phelps over and over again.
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"A sophisticated and creative blog that pokes rambunctious, irreverent and most of all sexy fun at the game of poker and everyone who is connected with it." - PokerMagazine.com
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"If you ask me, you should just go straight to Wicked Chops Poker instead. These guys are awesome." - Kajagugu Poker
"...el blog más irreverente de la blogocosa norteamericana..." - Poquer Red
"Wicked Chops is wickedly funny. And wickedly irreverent. And posts a lot of photos of wickedly attractive women. If that ain't poker, what is?" - TypePad
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