Natalia Velez does not owe Full Tilt Poker any money.

Time to catch up on some poker news from around the globe…

:: Vadzim Kursevich wins the 2012 EPT Deauville Main Event, banking €875,000. [link]

:: Zynga Poker sounds an awful lot like what people were once saying about Full Tilt Poker (the rigged for more action part, not the run by fucking bafoons part). [link]

:: Nikolay Evdakov, who cashed a record 10 times at the 2008 WSOP, passes away unexpectedly at 47. [link]

:: Convincted sex offender Michael DiVita finally gets Epic Poker/the Palms to finally pay the $18,500 they owe him. [link]

:: Groupe Bernard Tapie hasn’t had the same luck with Barry Greenstein, but he does admit he owes the debt. [link]

:: In an inspired blog, Daniel Negreanu rips into Ray Bitar, Howard Lederer, and Chris Ferguson. [link]

:: In an uninspired interview, GBT lawyer Behn Dayanim again rips into the players who allegedly owe Tilt money. [link]

:: What’s the final tally on the amount owed to Tilt? $16.5M. [link]

:: Regardless, that money should have no impact on Tilt reopening by March, which, for what it’s worth, ain’t happening. [link]

:: And finally, Subject:Poker is dead! Long live Subject:Poker! [link]

More pics of Columbian supermodel Natalia Velez here.

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I zow nothing about any stinking moniez.

2012 is shaping up to be about 47,900x better for Jonathan Duhamel than 2011.

After crushing the 2012 PCA, making 4 final tables and earning over $2M, Duhamel has now recovered about half of the money stolen from him in the armed robbery allegedly spearheaded by his ex-girlfriend, Bianca Rojas-Latraverse.

Says the Toronto Sun:

Officers, acting on an anonymous tip, discovered a padded envelope containing [$80,000] Canadian and U.S. dollars, Euros and pounds sterling.

Still in custody are two of the three alleged perps: 20-year-old hot-ass ex-girlfriend Bianca Rojas-Latraverse, and John-Stephen Clark-Lemay (22). What’s up with all the hyphens?

Another defendant was released on bail.

Read more about the money recovery here.

Bianca Rojas-Latraverse photo dump here.

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"Man it feels good not having to wear that fucking cap all the time. I bet you fuckers didn't even know I had hair. Where does this win put me on that fucking GPI thing?" - Phil Ivey, January 29, 2012

When play resumed at the 2012 Aussie Millions Main Event with 12 remaining, Phil Ivey was short-stacked. However, Phil Ivey is Phil Ivey, so short-stacks don’t mean shit to him. He’s Phil Fucking Ivey afterall.

Phil Ivey was eliminated in 12th place ($100,000 AUD) in the 2012 Aussie Millions Main Event. Ok whatever shit happens.

However, Ivey rebounded quickly from the dick kick.

Not long after his elimination, Ivey became one of 16 who entered the $250,000 Super High Roller.

And you know something, the motherfucker won it.

Ivey banked $2-fucking-million dollars and scored his first title in only four events back since his self-imposed exile.

The “in the money” group had a very Full Tilt-ish feel, as Patrik Antonius finished second ($1.2M AUD), and Gus Hansen came in third ($800,000 AUD). Daniel Negreanu bubbled the money in fourth.

Other FTP’ers who played included John “Fuck” Juanda, Erik Seidel, and Tom ‘durrrr’ Dwan.

Phil Ivey.

Fuck.

UPDATED: In related news, Oliver Speidel won the 2012 Aussie Millions Main Event, banking $1.6M AUD.

* Editor’s Note: Fuck. 

** Photo Courtesy of Poker News.

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Miranda Kerr dressed as Wonder Woman is not as sexy as Phil Ivey dressed as Wonder Woman. Wait...hmmm...no not as sexy.

With 12 remaining at the 2012 Aussie Millions Main Event, Yann Dion is the chip leader, stacked at 2,670,000.

But enough about Yann Dion. Let’s get on with IVEY WATCH 2012^TM.

Phil Ivey, who you may recall is playing this event, finished the day as the short-stack with 699,000. Can Ivey double-up, chip-up, and make a run at the 7-man TV final table? Cue: Asia.

The closest thing to another “notable” remaining would be WSOP bracelet winner Daniel Idema with 1,840,000. Lee Nelson is in position to be this year’s David Gorr, as he’s stacked at 1,651,000.

Twelfth place pays $100,000 AUD. First banks $1.6M AUD.

They’ll play down to 7 on Saturday. Get full chip counts here.

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Phil Ivey is the Phil Ivey of poker.

Phil Ivey Phil Ivey Phil Ivey. Phil Ivey sixth 1,107,000 2012 Aussie Millions Phil Ivey.

Not Phil Ivey leads with 2,675,000.

A total of 25 Not Phil Ivey’s remain as well as Phil Ivey. Phil Ivey.

Black Phil Ivey.

Get full Phil Ivey’s here.

* Photo courtesy of Poker News

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