Humorous horses and their funny stories are the focus of these dirty horse jokes! 28.) These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse. Do you have any funny horse jokes that we forgot to include? Horses require tons of care. . . EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is "neigh", which is part of the word "neighborhood". Q: Why did the horse play his music so loud? The dogs look at each other, amazed.Bloody hell, did you see that? The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. I had the worst nightmare ever! My horse said. Have you ever met a horse that could make a sandwich? Haha just kidding, they get shot. Have you heard of the neigh-metal band, The Foals? 86.) These elephant jokes will get you a ton of laughs! These jokes about moose are great moose jokes for kids and adults. 12.) Why would the circus need a bartender?Which side of a horse has more hair?The outside.I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. Fortunately, one of the best things we can do is laugh at all of the amusing horse racing jokes that occur along the way. What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? What did the Mother Horse say to the foal?It is pasture bedtime. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? Stable tennis. Who isnt an upside-down horseshoe good luck for?The horse who lost it! How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower. I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasnt a colt. Of that amount, 64,600 are wild horses. Q. A: They both hold the reins. Where do horses live in a city? Why are you sleeping? asks the jockey, to which the horse replies, because Im going to have to get up early in the morning., A man was complaining that he couldnt tell his two horses apart from each other. What are you planning to do with that nag? the man asks. 47.) His ID was pony. Why did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it. 54.) AND parents laugh at them, too! What do you give a sick horse?A cough stirrup. He was banned and barned for being too good! Q: How slow was the race horse? The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule.But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. What do you call an insincere small horse?A phony pony. 3. A: All of them houses cant jump at all. Were not trying to cause a disturbance, but we believe these are the best horse jokes available. Why did the horse get an award?It was out standing in its field.How was the horse after the accident?In a stable condition.What do you call a horse thats a world traveler?A globe-trotter!Why did the foal go to the doctors?He was a little hoarse.What animal can you always rely on?Horses, cause their always stabled!What kind of vacuum cleaner do horses prefer?A Hoofer.Whats the quickest way to send a horse mail?Using the Pony Express.A man rode his horse to town on Friday. . (a 2-toned horse, also a type of bean). What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? Horses, the flawless, majestic beasts whose hoofbeats match the beats of your heart, whose flowy manes remind you of your warmest dreams, with noble eyes that peer right into your soul. Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? We recommend our users to update the browser. Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, Talking Horse for Sale. Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? A: It bucked. Prepare yourself for hours of laughter with this collection of horse jokes for kids. Jon Bon Pony Back in the 90s, horses loved to listen to songs by Jon Bon Pony! Q: How did the horse riding instructor decide to get more customers? They will always take offense! A: With cough stirrup. From puppies in the park to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, many of the first words children learn are the names of animals from the cat in the house to the giraffe far, far away. Now, onto some more horse jokes! Where does a horses leg bend?At the po-knee! When does a horse talk?Whinny wants to! Why did the pony have to gargle?Because it was a little hoarse. Having a horse is a big responsibility. A Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. A horse-pital! Phew! the cowboy sighs. Where do newly married horses sleep?In the bridle suite. Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. Q: What looks like half a horse? Check out the difference it made wh. These jokes arent just for fun; theyre well worth the price of admission. Its not that stable of an income! What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? Q: Where do Knights park their horses? 116 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Power 99.1: Dad Joke time! 57.) 2020 LIVIN3. You'll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. About; News; FAQ; Careers; March 11, 2022 Cities Week Morning Jokes (3-11-2022) by Chompers Listen Now Share. A: I can't take your order. Because he was a little hoarse. Hey says the barman. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can't make him drink. Q: Who isnt an upside down horse shoe good luck for? Where do horses live. A. Then stop horsing around and read some of these hilarious Horse Jokes! Every Tuesday at 6:50 and 8:20 we read your best or worst Dad Jokes! Your email address will not be published. A: The Globe Trotters. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! Ok then. Funny Horse Puns My horse invited me to church. That's not my stable. Financially stable! What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!. Q: What NFL football matchup is always a win-win for horses? Why don't you try the circus?" The horse nickers. There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. Why couldnt the pony sing. The bartender asked, Why such a long face?, A horse walks into a restaurant. Q: Who helps the horse stable cleaner? Horses have around 205 bones in their skeleton. 2.When you hear gossip about a horse, you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Watch that horse language! 71.) Where do horses live in a city? According to the BLM, there are an estimated 82,000 wild horses and burros located in the Western United States, with herds of 300-500 in the rest of the country. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?A tale of WHOA! Q: Who is in charge of horse town? A horse walks into work looking very sad. How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio. Because these jokes are true barnburners, this piece is guaranteed to become a mane-stay in your library of comic bookmarks. He tried to quit colt turkey, but it didnt work. A child who needs a good laugh? A: The psycho-path. Where do horses live. Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? Where do horses live. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? However, dont worry, since we have tons of other lists of jokes you can keep reading: We hope youve enjoyed this article and that the horse jokes brought a smile to your face. A stable mode of transportation! Want to hear a knock-knock joke about horses for kids? 68.) It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. Knock knock. What do you call a horse thats been all around the world?A globe-trotter. Where Do Horses Live? Shows. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? Two racehorses are in a stable. Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. Theyll undoubtedly cause some amusement. Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon. What is a cats favorite breakfast. This is the best collection of Clean Horse Jokes that youll find anywhere. The laughs might even keep you 110 The Funniest Horse Jokes That Make You Giddy Up and Giggle Saddle up and get ready for a wild ride. 21.) 94.) Not only are these horse jokes silly and fun, but they are kid friendly and safe for all ages. A: He got colt feet. Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. 66.) 43.) 40.) What are horses favorite food? Diagnostic Imaging Systems, Inc. (DIS) has been providing Quality Imaging products since 1983. This. 44.) Where do horses get their furniture? One-one won one race, and One-two won one too. What did the horse say after she fell over. Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? There are so many amusing things that may occur in a barn, especially when horses are present! He thought he might get a kick out of it! But theres no such thing as a whinny- borhood or snort-borhood. Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labeled A, B, D, E, and F?Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse (C-horse). of their day. Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. 50+ Horse Jokes To Lift A Long Face 1. Q: What type of horse has trouble keeping track of its Ipad? So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldnt get off his high horse.What do you call a racehorse whos too old to race?Fast paste.A man has a racehorse who never won a race.Man in disgust says, Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.He kicks the horse and asks, WHY ARE YOU SLEEPINGThe horse, half asleep says, I have to get up at three in the morning.Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.Why is it hard so hard to carry on a conversation with racehorses?They dont stand around furlong!Two greyhound are sitting in a stableThey are both boasting to each other about their racing victories. 4. jokes, Why did the pony yell?He wanted to be herd. Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! Q. Whats the favorite part of a horse race for a vampire? 4. If you have kids and they have a sense of humor, these Clean Horse Jokes for Kids will make their day. Read More 45 Funny Minecraft JokesContinue. When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Unfortunately, with most jokes, the setup and punchline are generally quite obvious. Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? His favorite song is A Crazy Thing Colt Love. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. Check out these fun links. And just like animals themselves, these silly animal jokes will keep your kids seriously entertained! Whats the difference between a horse and the weather?One reigns up and one rains down! Youll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. A man asks his vet, Will I be able to race my horse again?The vet said, Yes, of course, you will. These horse knock knock jokes will make you laugh out loud, and if youre feeling particularly horsey, share some of these amusing horse jokes with your pals to burst out laughter in the room. 2. Here are 75 funny moose jokes and the best moose puns to crack you up. Why are elephants wrinkled. If you or your child love horses, then youll enjoy these horse jokes for kids. Riddle: Whats as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? How did the other horse respond when the restaurant crew greeted him: Hey?That was what I was about to order! 96.) Get off your high horse! These 31 horse jokes will entertain audiences of all ages (especially adults) with clever puns and witty punchlines. Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. 23.) Horse Reacts To Donkey In The Funniest Way Possible, Meet Microdave: A Tiny Horse With Boatloads Of Personality, Shania Twain's Horse Demands To Be Seen During Home Performance, Listening to the Horse - The Documentary by Elaine Heney & Grey Pony Films, Shoulder In & Out Training for better balance, bend & topline development with your horse, Over 110+ Polework Exercises & Challenges to Download, Dancing at Liberty & Creating Connection with Your Horse (11 lessons) - Grey Pony Films, 17 Magnificent Colorado Ranger Horses (Unique Photos), 7 Beautiful Russian Horse Breeds (with Photos), 7 Royal-Worthy Horse Breeds (With Photos), 9 Types of Horse-Drawn Carriages (with Images). Ferraris run on horse-power. The first dog says Ive won six of my last ten races. Why the long face? 27.) Are you looking for horse jokes for kids with puns? These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. What do you call a well-balanced horse?Stable. Need more animal jokes? Where do horses live in a city? The teacher yelled at the horse for foaling around. A horse is walking around bare foot. 32.) Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples. These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. These funny horse jokes include riddles, puns, one liners and knock knock jokes. 26.) But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. Q: What team of horses travel all around the world? My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. Chardon-hay Q: Who rode a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water? The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat?Fast food. What fruit do twins love. First things first: We love horses. What do you do? Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. A: When it's neck and neck. It goes: 1: THE HORSE (S) 2: DADDY'S MONEY 3: YOUR MONEY 4: YOU. Get ready to roll around on the floor laughing because these hilarious horse jokes for kids are coming your way. What did one horse say to the other horse?Your pace (face) is familiar but I cant remember your mane (name). He de-neighed all accusations. When do vampires like horse racing? As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. 84.) They're great to drop into your daily conversations too! are a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. More than half of the feral horses in the Western United States are in Nevada. They have a good time and before he realizes it the 24. 99.) Cant get enough horse jokes? What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. Just click the to create your snippet! The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! When he fell off, he realized it wasnt in-neigh-te. A: An Appaloosa. The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Archive for the 'horses' Category. Some poor horse is walking around in socks. Today everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses.The stables have turned. Which planet loves to sing. 6.) Why was the horse really proud of his school test results?Because he got a Hay-plus! 53.) What kind of dog has a bark but no bite. https:. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. It's little wonder that horses remain one of the most popular animals in the world they're just such an amazing mix of power and beauty. Wild horses Conservation status Additional resources Horses are hoofed mammals that have lived with humans for thousands of years. 31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!) Hay fever. A pony went to the doctor complaining about having a sore throat. Zachery loves to write in a variety of genres, so he can try new things. Some kind of animal!. The bartender says, "Hey." Main Street. He never did any of that!. The pastor explains, to make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah. The cowboy rides off. The barman asks: Why the long face?How do you spell Hungry Horse in four letters?MTGG.Lets drink Mint Juleps and horse around.A horse walks into a bar. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Here are 35 funny gorilla jokes and the best gorilla puns to crack you up. The Pottery Barn! When he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. Q: Who were the two most famous horse theives? They have a real colt following! As a trained teacher and now private tutor, I help children learn math every day, and I use this blog to share some tips and tricks with parents like you. Why did the peanut get into a rocket. (A Critical Review). The waiter says, "Hey.". A. To make him drink is not.Knock knock.Whos there?Loud horse.Loud horse, who?A loud horse that wants to annoy you! With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! Required fields are marked *. A: With Southern Horspitality. What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet. Why did the horses check bounce? Whats the difference between a Western horse and an Eastern horse?About 2,000 miles. Searching his memory he yells to the horse Hallelujah. 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