Dennis Phillips – Bad for Poker(TM)?

Dennis Phillips wouldn’t so much have a "Moneymaker Effect" as he would have a "Jerry Yang Effect."

Listen, Dennis Phillips may be the nicest guy in the world. He may have 12 super hot college-aged daughters who give bjs to all house guests. He may have created the polio vaccine. He probably stormed the beaches at Normandy. He could very well be a great U.S. American.

But if Dennis Phillips ends up the winner of the 2008 WSOP Main Event, that would probably be Bad for PokerTM.

Again, no offense to Phillips. He could’ve invented the Internet for all we know. Or at least Internet porn. Perhaps he gives really sensual foot rubs. With lots of oil. Then softly kisses your neck. Caressing your hair…while blowing…in your ear.

Oh Dennis! You are such a bad, bad boy!


But Phillips has more of that earthy "just won the lottery now going to buy a 14 acre farm in Iowa" than that "let’s go pop bottles with models for the next year and promote poker like a rock star" kind of look.

Whatever the case, we’ll know in four long freaking months soon, as Phillips looks primed for a final table appearance, currently stacked over 11M.

Owen Crowe, who would’ve been Good for PokerTM, was just eliminated in 15th place…


14 Responses

  1. Vinselanity

    July 14, 2008 9:55 pm, Reply

    Dennis Phillips’ only rival is Dennis Phillips’ beard. Their final battle will decide the fate of our world.

  2. Vinselanity

    July 14, 2008 9:56 pm, Reply

    If a player loses a pot, they must massage Dennis Phillips’ back and buttocks for 17 minutes.

  3. Vinselanity

    July 14, 2008 10:07 pm, Reply

    Instead of the money being dumped on the final table, Dennis Phillips’ opponent must tuck it into Dennis’ underwear, so as not to upset him.

  4. Vinselanity

    July 14, 2008 10:08 pm, Reply

    Last year Jerry Yang prayed to Dennis Phillips. This year he decided to take matters into his own hands.

  5. Vinselanity

    July 15, 2008 7:14 am, Reply

    Thanks…PokerNews kept deleting them from the shoutbox on the updates. I figured no way this site is gonna delete anything.

  6. Zerbet

    July 15, 2008 11:44 am, Reply

    I suspect you would have made/ did make the same retarded estimation of the impact of Greg Raymer at the time.
    Outside of the overriding beggars-can’t-be-choosers element of the situation, seems like we should all just hope we don’t get reamed with a Gold Yang, if you smell what I’m cookin’.
    Stick to the soft porn, that’s more in your wheel house(s). Projecting what’s Good or Bad (for poker, your careers, w/e) – not so much.

  7. seth

    July 22, 2008 9:40 am, Reply

    What a joke,jealous anybody? I’ve played with him and you people have no clue what you’re talking about.Jealousy is a bitch….

  8. WCP

    July 22, 2008 11:20 am, Reply

    So funny…we’re putting it up for debate and said not one bad thing about Dennis personally (and made it a point to mention he’s probably a good guy multiple times). So whoever is getting all riled up, calm down and find something more important to rage about. Or take some Zoloft.

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