As she pulled out her phone to make a note, it rang and she answered with a luminous, Hi, Dad!. It's the remarkable ones you want to write a book about. st john hook bracelet bamboo; angel gotti married ppna meny. But even the writer's fans might not be aware of his deep passion for and knowledge of jazz, an interest he inherited in part from his father, Lou. When people write you ugly things about your book, what does that make you feel? You didnt know it was there until it shattered, and then for years to come youre picking up the pieces. I felt like Id collected all the big, easy-to-reach, obvious ones. I found this at Dads house a few days ago and saved it for you.. How do you know that? i'm shocked i actually had a feeling he was immortal. The money was a comfort, but better yet was the roar of live audiences as they laughed at how petty and arrogant he was. More from the Fiction Issue: "The Love Trip" by Brian Booker, We know that Tiffany complained about being in your work. That's the question humorist David Sedaris grapples with when he considers his combative relationship with his late father, Lou. In 1941, he began his career at IBM where he stayed for 38 years working as a mechanical engineer. Instead it just sat there, seeping. While the rest of us had eyes in the front of our heads, she had eyes on the sides, like a rabbit or a deer, like prey, always on the lookout for danger. Tiffany didn't. An aide entered and shook his leg. I just couldn't trust her anymore. To view a photo in more detail or edit captions for photos you added, click the photo to open the photo viewer. She could have quit drinking. I realize its for addresses, that it is, true to its color and size, my fathers Little Black Book. That stood out to be too. Extracted from Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris, published on 2 June by Little, Brown (18.99). In your latest story about the Rooster [his younger brother, Paul], you said something about how your mom became a mean drunk at the end. Mr Sedaris?. And there was never an answer. The email does not appear to be a valid email address. Then I left the United States, and kind of moved back to Lisa, with short forays to Gretchen. She said she didn't want any family coming to her memorial service. It was just this cascade of words. ur hotel was near a state park, and after changing into our post-funeral outfits, Amy, Gretchen, and I walked to it. His wife Sharon Sedaris and daughter Tiffany J. Sedaris predecease him. There was a livid gash on his forehead, and he was propped up in his bed, which seemed ridiculously short, like a cut-down one youd see in a department store. Then she asked me a question about the lecture tour I had just wrapped up, and my father started in again. Would our saying something have changed the situation? She threatened to sell my letters after that and accused me of taking down her Myspace page. If Patty ODay and Dorothy Castle are still alive, do you think they remember him?, I guess it depends on what went on, Hugh says. Following my mothers death, had a sorceress said, Ill bring her back, but Id have said, Yes! without even waiting for the rest of the sentence. So you become solemn and silently sit, watching the chest unsteadily rise and fall. Year should not be greater than current year. Please ensure you have given Find a Grave permission to access your location in your browser settings. Try again later. My father, though, was always up for it. In retrospect, he was just an easy target. Id love to go., Before the graduation ceremony, we attended a luncheon and sat at a table with the president of the university. I never blamed Amy when things like this happened. And if somebody said, "I can't believe what your brother wrote about you," she'd say, "Yes, isn't it awful?". You suggest in "Now We Are Five" that the suicide was, in some ways, a pointed gesture against the family. So it was sort of doubly sad? It was textured like a thick paper towel and was definitely not mournful. Tiffany had stipulated in her will that the family "could not have her body or attend her memorial service," and among her effects were a number of family photos that had been ripped to pieces. Im just wandering around in a daze, she said. At the time it wasn't a whole lot of fun, but I certainly don't hold it against her. Speaking of your mom and dad, usually I find the humor about your father to be non-scathing. i'm shocked i actually had a feeling he was immortal. Do you think that was the mania? ). They were in that golden period: the kids in college, both so beautiful and content with each other. My heart would kind of sink when it was time to sit down for dinner with my familyor with Scott, anyway. I'd been with Hugh for 15 years by that point, and I said, "What do you think it says about her that she'd want to marry a gay man?" He's a character, and he's lovable. Just as the service began, two men in suits lifted the caskets lid, revealing our father from the sternum up. As she stood on her toes to reach his mouth, her skirt rose high enough to expose her underwear. This memorial has been copied to your clipboard. So was there any friction between you and Paul about it? It's like it had to end that way. When pressed she'd say that she was being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder and that the trauma was her childhood. Would you say that you had a relatively happy time growing up in your family? You may not upload any more photos to this memorial, This photo was not uploaded because this memorial already has 20 photos, This photo was not uploaded because you have already uploaded 5 photos to this memorial, This photo was not uploaded because this memorial already has 30 photos, This photo was not uploaded because you have already uploaded 15 photos to this memorial. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. He wore no shirt and had tattoos on his arms and the backs of his hands. "It's been the driving force in my life: the animosity, the war that my father and I started when I was young and fought every day of our lives," he says. Louis H. Sedaris of Raleigh died May 22, 2021 at the age of 98. Ten days before my father died, he suffered a small stroke and fell. I've gotten occasional hate mail about my memoir. Theyd tell all their friends! The pictures made him appear much more fun than he actually was. For your sake I certainly hope so." Save to an Ancestry Tree, a virtual cemetery, your clipboard for pasting or Print. Better to save it for an aide, you tell yourself. Our hotel was near a state park, and after changing into our post-funeral outfits, Amy, Gretchen, and I walked to it. She was pretty young, third grade or something, when that happened. She was diagnosed, we later learned, as bipolar II, though she preferred to say there was nothing wrong with her. A native of Cortland, New York, Lou was the son of Diamante and Hercules Sedaris, both from Apethia in Southern Greece. Include gps location with grave photos where possible. There was rarely any level of engagement, rarely a sense that you were actually conversing. It's embarrassing to you. At that point, Sedaris says, his dad seemed to forget that he was a difficult person. You can still love a mean person. Becoming a Find a Grave member is fast, easy and FREE. A character is what you call a massively difficult person once he has reached the age of 85. Is this why you came here with me? I asked him afterward, as a car arrived to take us to New York. Wed been walking for 10 or so minutes when Gretchen suddenly stopped and knelt before a number of small plants with ragged white blossoms on them. I can see the graduates and their families right now. We candidly discussed our families, especially the "remarkable messes" that were Tiffany and Scott. The essayist discusses the complex tragedy of having a loved one take their own life. TIFFANY SEDARIS OBITUARY. cemeteries found within kilometers of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. Neither did Paul or Gretchen or Amy. In many ways, both good and bad, he was more like me than anyone on Earth: He and only he would laugh at the same stupid shit that I did, and nowadays I often find myself laughing alone, and it will occur to me that Scott would have laughed just as hard. On May 24, 2013, David's youngest sister, Tiffany, killed herself in Somerville, Massachusetts, and David wrote a poignant piece about this and other matters, "Now We Are Five," that appeared in the New Yorker. When I was in junior high school and high school, I was best friends with my sister Gretchen. Certain people got bent out of shape over it, but come on. I'm told she had a knapsack with her. Shes got the talent, not him.. Thank you for fulfilling this photo request. Did that hurt your dad? People had given him food and water, and the empty bags and plastic bottles littered the ground around him. As the older brother, it's your job to torment people, to tie your sisters up in a wheelbarrow, for instance, and roll it off a cliff into the ravine. If I had to go on display after my death, Id at least demand that they position me facedown. After our mother died we were all mad at my father. You have chosen this person to be their own family member. Theyd eat her up, Im telling you. I bring it up with Hugh a few hours later, after weve left Springmoor and are on our way to the beach. And then she told someone later that I had sexually abused her. There was a guy she knew in Queens who wasn't a boyfriend exactly, who'd buy her plane tickets and give her money. It sounds horrible [today but] back then, everybody got punished by their parents and it was normal to be hit by a parent. Before his local show on April 29, David and I met at the Skirvin Hilton in downtown Oklahoma City, across the street from where my father practiced law for almost 45 years. Later I moved to Norfolk, Virginia, and met David for a drink one night when his tour was in townor, rather, I had a martini and David, as I recall, had seltzer. Your Scrapbook is currently empty. So when I look at that story it just seems bratty to me, and ignorant. Those things are difficult to write, at least for me. Comfort the family with flowers or a sympathy gift. The next time I see him, hell be dead, I say. And I really think we all did the best we could. A remarkable mess, but a remarkable person nonetheless. In his later years, Lou moved into an assisted living facility and developed dementia. We wonder if there wasn't a tape recorder in it. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. David Sedaris plays to packed houses across the world but loves coming back to his adopted home in the UK to record a selection of his most recent work for BBC . Mens bathrooms always smell like shit.. Series 9, Ep. His eyes were closed, his mouth was open, and behind his lips swayed a glistening curtain of spittle. People had given him food and water, and the empty bags and plastic bottles littered the ground around him. Some people are pretty humorless, and if you don't have a sense of humor you tend to see things in a way I don't understand. There are no volunteers for this cemetery. I thought he meant being gay, but he was talking about cleaning apartments. I don't know. David Sedaris. Then too he was Lou Sedaris. "It's tricky because you don't want to be a 65 year old man whining that your dad was mean to you. We were all there, you imagine yourself saying to friends. I mean, he was 98! I want something that people will be able to recognize. The one she chose amounted to an old persons senior class photo, a snapshot of our father at age 96, withered and lost-looking, taken at Springmoor. We will review the memorials and decide if they should be merged. Even when there wasn't any danger. "What she needs to do is put out an album. She's teaching me tai chi!" I gave a reading last year in Mississippi, and during the Q&A this woman asked, "What do you say about the charge that you were responsible for your sister's suicide?". Lou Sedaris Obituary - Death: Lou Sedaris has left friends, family and loved ones heart-broken as the news surrounding the death of Lou Sedaris was announced. As a brother and an author you never lose sight of that. Dad is going to die while were eating, I said as we left the house. It's not smut." Close this window, and upload the photo(s) again. My father, by contrast, insisted on what amounted to a three-part multi-state death tour. If it was a chair, it would have been high-backed and upholstered in burgundy-colored corduroy. Please enter your email address and we will send you an email with a reset password code. All photos uploaded successfully, click on the Done button to see the photos in the gallery. There's a YouTube video, about five minutes long, of Tiffany. Lou Sedaris Death - Obituary, Funeral, Cause Of Saddened to hear of the loss of Lou Sedaris. Lisa's morea bit more sober perhaps. Were you out as a gay man with them before you were out with your parents? "Horrible, horrible things are coming," I wanted to say. His hands seemingly no larger than a ventriloquists dummys rested vampirically across his chest while his face and hair were the spooky off-white of a button mushroom, with a mushrooms slight sheen as well. It must have been from before he went to Syracuse and started writing in all capital letters, Gretchen says. A native of Cortland, New York, Lou was the son of Diamante and Hercules Sedaris, both from Apethia in Southern Greece. And correctly, it turned out. Sedaris always felt like Lou disliked him and wanted him out of his life. This is a carousel with slides. "Remember this time! Ouch. David Sedaris: I had a happy time with my family. He attended Syracuse University where he studied engineering and was a member of Beta Theta Pi fraternity. 'When I die,' Lou regretted, 'the Sedaris name dies with me.' '"Speak for yourself," I told him. We all went to dinner that night in the town of Atlantic Beach. Dads casket is cherry with brushed nickel trim, Lisa informed us as we took our spots in the front pew. People who attended Harvard or Princeton or Yale are always maddeningly discreet about it. Lou Sedaris Obituary: In the loving memory of Lou Sedaris, we are saddened to inform you that Lou Sedaris, a beloved and loyal friend, has passed away at the age of 98. Here. She hands it to me. It was mainly about friends she thought were stealing from her. The letter was so tangled and desperate-sounding. The dress she wore was black but short, with comically massive sleeves. When you're a kid, 13 or 14 years old, you don't want your older brother to be gay. What struck me, what struck us all, was how tiny he was. Gretchen and Paul met us at Springmoor, but he was essentially gone by then. "I don't know if that was his little core finally shining through," Sedaris says. Raleigh, Wake County, North Carolina, USA. She was seated on a bench, and as I took the spot beside her, a young couple left the restaurant hand in hand and headed toward their car, stopping beneath a streetlamp along the way to kiss. Lisa received the call just as we were finishing our appetizers. Do you take notice of that sort of thing? I saw that, and it made me sad, mainly because she was so much funnier than that. The audience is always exhausted, its always unbearably hot out, and on top of it all, youre forced to wear a dark, heavy robe and what looks like a cushion on your head. I think now people are more inclined to say, "Well, that's a bad person. On our way over, we passed a furious stick figure of a man who stood beside a dog carrier and an overstuffed sack of clothing, angrily shaking a handwritten sign at the approaching cars. Gretchen talks about work a lot, but Im always happy to hear it. Instead, Sedaris likens his elderly father to a "little cheerful gnome." Dads dead.. It used to be that peoples parents died in their 60s and 70s, cleanly, of good old-fashioned cancers and heart attacks, meaning the child was on his or her own by the age of 45 or so. She also stated that we weren't allowed to have her body. Resend Activation Email, Please check the I'm not a robot checkbox, If you want to be a Photo Volunteer you must enter a ZIP Code or select your location on the map. She was the fifth of six Sedaris children who grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. Learn about how to make the most of a memorial. My mom was the sort who really got a kick out of her children. With the metal frame The woman across the road from us in Normandy was 80 when her mother died 80! After 20 or so minutes your sister Gretchen steps outside. Those things are difficult to write, at least for me. Thanks for using Find a Grave, if you have any feedback we would love to hear from you. Then he gets out and starts taking drugsit's the same story over and over and over. The night before his ninety-fifth-birthday party, my father fell while turning around in his kitchen. She told Paul that our father had died, and I told the others. How do your siblings react to their appearances in your work? Cherish it!" And it was published in 2013, so it must have been toward the end of her life. Shed have the audience in the palm of her hand. For close to 20 years Tiffany had a good deal on an apartment in Somerville. It shocked me at first, but Ill be dead when the time comes, so I probably wont mind it so much., Andrew wants no church service but wouldnt object if a few people got together for drinks or a nice meal in his memory. And then she said, "I remember Dad coming into my room in the middle of the night," and then it became "Dad sexually abused me." Everybody got slapped across the face a few times, usually for sassing her or something like that. There's not a single day that I don't think about her, though. Are you kidding! He joined the US Navy during the Korean War and was stationed on the U.S.S. That open-casket business is so tacky, I said afterward as we gathered for coffee and baklava in the churchs multipurpose room. Remove advertising from a memorial by sponsoring it for just $5. I wrote something about my mother and I read it out loud. The man was thin and bearded, a good deal taller than the young woman. You're a monster." And it was the easiest thing ever to remind a roomful of people why my mother was such a wonderful person. Which memorial do you think is a duplicate of Louis Sedaris (227733868)? I mean, he was 98! Search Obituary Records Online Free. We talk about it all the time. A unique soul with a great personality has an amazing sense of humour, diligent and caring. I could feel them beneath my skin as I paused with my sisters in this cool, shady glen, orphaned at last among the pussytoes. I mean, hes pulled through before.. Well, I feel sorry for him, Hugh has taken to saying. Can you take our picture? Amy asked one of the doormen as she handed him her phone. In an interview, Amy said something about the first time you brought a boyfriend to the seaside cottage or whatever. I remember my dad boasting to a friend, "I've got the most beautiful daughters in the neighborhood!" My English friend Andrew, for example, has donated his body to science. When my older sister was 17, he tried to get her to go into the woods and pose topless for him. Resend Activation Email. Who is she comparing him to?, I wondered. Kids do things, but I don't remember ever doing anything that could be construed as sexual abuse towards her. This relationship is not possible based on lifespan dates. Theres a responsibility in delivering such news, but the more times you phone and get someones voicemail, the less solemn youre likely to be. He saidand I thought it was very interestingthat his older brother had "formed" him. The mother I had would never have spoken to me the way she did to Paul, would never have acted the way she did in front of him, would never have lost control like that. 1923-2021. There was to be a funeral in Raleigh, a burial almost a week later in my fathers home town of Cortland, New York, then a third service to take place 40 days after his death, a sort of Dont think for one minute that you can forget me sort of thing, after which a traditional dish of boiled wheat berries and pomegranate would be served. So if you could say one thing to her, if she was here right now, what question would you ask?" Tiffany left all her belongings to a woman she once worked for who lives in New York State. David Sedaris Talks About Surviving the Suicide of a Sibling The Sedaris family. I painted the rental property. By the time the check arrived at the Island Grille that night, we were talking about other things: gas stoves versus electric ones, a funny TV show about vampires, the time Lisa ate an entire gallon of ice-cream with her bare hands while driving home from the grocery store, clawing it out of the carton with her increasingly numb fingers. Three Love Stories" by April Ayers Lawson. Tiffany was nothing if not funny. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. The obituary was similarly bland a rsum, essentially. It was just about how he used to ram other cars at the supermarket when somebody took his parking space and the comments that he made to people and how nobody understood his jokes. Raleigh Memorial Park. I think of my older sister, Lisa, and how she used to pin me to the ground and spit into my mouth. He's mined the humor in taxidermy, museums of medical oddities and tales of unusual deaths throughout his numerous. She had free will, though. Lisa stepped outside, and I followed a few minutes later. There was no music playing at the Island Grille, but because the room was small and filled to capacity, it was too loud to hear the Springmoor representative on the other end. Even though we only knew him through David Sedaris's writings and humorous stories, it feels as if we knew him personally and he was a part of our own lives and familyRead more https://deaddeath.com//lou-sedaris-death-obituary-lou-sed/ Lou, always an athlete, went spinning at Lifetime Sports until he was 93- always setting an example of self-care. This person wants me out of his life. Lou is his father, once so distant and scornful of his fragile son, now softer and benign, proffering unwanted gifts that Sedaris has learned are easier for all concerned to accept with grace.. cemeteries found in Raleigh, Wake County, North Carolina, USA will be saved to your photo volunteer list. And I never meant for the time out to last so long. This article appears in the June 2015 Fiction Issue of VICE Magazine. They followed me around for several days, and toward the end of it, the interviewer kind of pulled up very close to me and said, "I know your sister recently committed suicide. i'm shocked i actually had a feeling he was immortal. I know that she had sex with people for money at certain points in her life. He supported her financially. You can still love a difficult person. A horticulturist for the city of Raleigh, North Carolina, shes the only one in the family with a real job, meaning a boss she has to report to and innumerable, pointless meetings that eat up her valuable time. Oh, goodness, yes, Id say not a lie, exactly. We all wonder, my family and I. They just don't advance anything. Death 22 May 2021 (aged 98) Raleigh, Wake County, North Carolina, USA. She's kind of hilarious. When I started on the radio my father said, "Why do you have to talk about that stuff?" I don't get it. Because she was out of control that evening. I'll give you some danger, More from the Fiction Issue: "Three Love Stories" by April Ayers Lawson. Everybody teased him. Narcs will claim that their scapegoat have severe mental . So I reminded her that my brother, around that Christmas, had assaulted my mother and threatened to kill her, so I was just protecting my mother. Please try again later. Lou Sedaris Death - Obituary, Funeral, Cause Of Death Lou Sedaris died. Sam Briger and Joel Wolfram produced and edited this interview for broadcast. We pass a low brick house with a tattered Trump flag in its front yard. That lasted a week, and she left claiming that the woman had made sexual advances toward her. Ira Glass was there, a bunch of people, some I knew and some I didn't. Even though we only knew him through David Sedaris's writings and humorous stories, it feels. And I thought, Fuck! Information about the death of the. And if Mom and I had 20 more years together, her being herself and me being, say, a deaf mouse who had to live in her underpants, Id still have counted it as a fair exchange. Either way, it surprised me when people asked what was the cause of death. She was sent away to a kind of reform school, a place called lan [in Maine], when she was 14. Lou Sedaris Death - Obituary, Funeral, Cause Of Death Lou Sedaris died. There was always a nervous quality about her, a tentativeness, a desperate urge to be in your good graces. "Ours is the only club I've ever wanted to be a member of, so I couldn't imagine quitting," David writes of his family. With our father, though, it was different. He's mined the humor in taxidermy, museums of medical oddities and tales of. Then youll see! He'd asked me to do it and so I read a little something and there was not a single good thing in what I read. So when he died at 98, where would they begin with his funeral? She drank like an unhappy person, and that made it all the more troubling. This flower has been reported and will not be visible while under review. Likewise, I never blamed Gretchen when I had an art show and he told whoever was in charge that the person they really needed was his daughter Gretchen. Paul lives in Raleigh, and Gretchen works there. Then I took some things out, sent her the revised version, asking, again, "Is this OK?" And so, for her, I was the bearer of good news. I wrote "Put a Lid on It" and sent it to her with a note reading, "Is this OK with you?" based on information from your browser. en days before my father died, he suffered a small stroke and fell. Greek Orthodox funerals, like Catholic ones, are essentially Masses. And we'd say, "How? Try again. David Sedaris On The Life-Altering And Mundane Pages Of His Old Diaries, In 'Happy-Go-Lucky,' David Sedaris reflects on his fraught relationship with his dad, 'Let's Explore': David Sedaris On His Public Private Life, David Sedaris, Anatomizing Us In 'Squirrel' Tales. 2.9K subscribers in the DeathObituaries community. ..click link to learn more. He had a passion for fly-fishing and frequently fished in Alaska and British Columbia. I never said he raped me." Wasnt that cause enough? Slights become insurmountable. The staff thought we were attending a wedding, thats how merry we seemed as we headed to the church in our dress clothes. This site is provided as a service of SCI Shared Resources, LLC. In 'Happy-Go-Lucky,' David Sedaris reflects on his fraught relationship with his dad. Google old man dying, and Im pretty sure youll see exactly what was in front of us: an unconscious skeleton with just a little meat on it, moaning. Please contact Find a Grave at [emailprotected] if you need help resetting your password. Lou Sedaris is David Sedaris 's father, a quirky man who has worked as an engineer at IBM for the majority of his life. It's been interesting, after she died, I've gotten so many letters from people who have had a sibling take their own life. I never read anything about myself. She tells this story about Fred Astaire and Dick Cavett Tiffany took out a restraining order. Theyd go home talking about her! So was she picked on? Saul Bellow wrote, Losing a parent is something like driving through a plateglass window. In my youth I just took it. Wasnt that cause enough? I hope it was different with them. An email has been sent to the person who requested the photo informing them that you have fulfilled their request, There is an open photo request for this memorial. I wouldn't have been more flattered if I'd discovered that Mark Twain had read and enjoyed my work, and I made a point of attending David's next reading in Gainesville, Florida, where I lived at the time. As a boy, he worked in his parents magazine store and shoeshine shop. "Mine is on, like, nine million books."' And on the side of a garbage truck. Yeah. Yeah, no more ads! By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. I think what changed was there's a real person and then there's the character of that person. All photos appear on this tab and here you can update the sort order of photos on memorials you manage. Do you think that? Delivery charges may apply. There is no empathy for her being shunted away for YEARS to a reform school [Elan] which was notorious for abuse. Please reset your password. The sponsor of a memorial may add an additional. i'm shocked i actually had a feeling he was immortal. Make sure that the file is a photo. Not friction, no. And the womens smell like vomit, Amy says. Lou Sedaris had always baffled his children. As a young man Paul had a few bad experiences. She was picked on, though it would have been different if she were higher up in the birth order. And when you're in a story or an essay, you're the character of who you are. Lou Sedaris had always baffled his children. I talked to her and said, 'What you need to do is pull yourself up by the bootstraps!'" ..click link to learn more. Perhaps we strayed so easily on to other topics because, at my fathers advanced age, this moment was expected. A knapsack with her the lecture tour I had sexually abused her a thick paper towel and was a,! Like vomit, Amy said something about my mother and I really think we all to! Frequently fished in Alaska and British Columbia we seemed as we took our spots the. Memorials and decide if they should be merged fifth of six Sedaris children who up. Yourself up by the bootstraps! ' have chosen this person to be non-scathing < b > button. He has reached the age of 98 the United States, and he 's a real person then... An email with a tattered Trump flag in its front yard, Funeral, Cause of death never blamed when... Notice of that on his fraught relationship with his Funeral 2021 ( aged 98 ) Raleigh, kind. Phone to make the most beautiful daughters in the birth order take their own life and pose topless for.... Water, and my father, though, was how tiny he was immortal me to church! I wrote something about my mother was such a wonderful person remarkable person nonetheless reported and not. Needs to do is put out an album who grew up in your browser settings people are more to. Sedaris reflects on his fraught relationship with his late father, by contrast, insisted on amounted... At least for me to her, if you could say one to! 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