Estella Warren or the Robotic Penis of General Grievous? You Choose.

:: snake

Rotssp1grievouspose3_1Estella_warrenWhile American sports writers and Danish bloggers are slagging poker with references to obscure Stars Wars’ scenes and a certain character’s johnson, model/actress Estella Warren (Planet of the Apes, as well as an endless number of photo spreads in both ‘zines you read and ones that girl you’re sleeping with reads and you look at wishing you were sleeping with girls like Estella rather than that girl you’re sleeping with) was being all she could be, along with the equally-as-hot Shannon Elizabeth, at the final table of the Bodog Salutes Our Troops Poker Tournament in Hawaii.

As the always-magniloquent Paris Hilton would say, “That’s so hot.”

Even hotter though is Estella won, beating out Bodog pros like Josh Arieh and David Williams, a battalion of military and online players and a bevy of celebrities that included Grey’s Anatomy’s resident beauty Katherine Heigl, comedians Colin Quinn, Paul Rodriguez, and Wanda Sykes, TV host Carson Daly, Survivor‚Äôs Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich, and Peter Berg, who you know as the director of Friday Night Lights and who you envy/despise as the man sleeping with Estella Warren.

The heads-up match came down to Estella and Army soldier Shane Woods, which confirms to me that we’re winning the war on terrorism. I mean, the Islamo-fascist thugs have to strap on bombs, blow themselves up into bits, all in the hopes of being surrounded by 72 virgins, while all Private Woods had to do was to play some poker for the chance at going all-in with Shannon Elizabeth, Estella Warren and Katherine Heigel.

Cav_estellaSpeaking of going all-in with Estella, that’s how it ended for Woods, who went in with A-4 against Estella’s K-Q. A flop of Q-J-7 and blanks on the turn and river gave Estella the win.

Asked how she did it and how she became such a hot poker player, Estella almost slipped up when she said, “Snake from Wicked Chops Po‚ĶI mean, uh, my boyfriend Peter Berg taught me how to play.”

Luckily no one, other than my imagination, caught on to that first part.

On a serious note, the Bodog Salutes Our Troops: A Tribute to American Heroes event is raising money for the Fisher House Foundation, a charity that annually houses and supports 8,500 military families. If you’re like me and often feel like an indolent slouch compared to the men and women fighting overseas and defending our homeland, check out the Fisher House and throw them a few SnG buy-ins. You’ll feel like a budding Barry Greenstein.

CalvandshanSo next up for the Be All You Can Bodog event is a concert tonight featuring Snoop Dogg and Estella Warren Naked . . . oh sorry, I read that wrong, it‚Äôs Bif Naked. Damn. Over 10,000 troops will be there along with the celebs and Bodog Founder & CEO Calvin Ayre, who we‚Äôre in talks with right now to have Wicked Chops be the official judges for the 2006 Bodog Girls competition. He just hasn’t had the chance to get back to us yet, seems to be always “in an important meeting” or “currently hanging with Shannon Elizabeth.”

Anywho, back to the question posed above, for all those who choose Estella Warren go here and here. For all those who prefer the robotic penis of General Grievous, try here.

 

8 Responses

  1. snake

    July 25, 2005 6:03 am, Reply

    we sat down, played poker…
    limit hold’em..
    then you sat down about so and so minutes in…
    blah, blah, blah…
    then some 7CS and jerre played every hand, once hitting quad aces versus my queens full…
    i lost money…
    I went on tilt, not because of that but because chops said he was leaving in an hour to watch 6′ Under….
    blah blah blah…
    then some limit omaha and sammy played every hand….
    and hit hand after hand…
    i lost money….
    blah blah blah…
    I ate a taco

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