Gavin Griffin, An American, Wins European Poker Tour Grand Final
Sucking down foie gras and caviar in a cove off Delos we got news moments ago that Gavin Griffin of the U. S. of A. won the European Poker Tour Grand Final. Held in Monte Carlo, the EPT Grand Final is the largest and richest tournament ever held on European soil and yes it was won by an American, for the second year in a row and it’s only been held three times, which means we own it. Or pwn it, if you’re into typos/slang.
The 25-year-old WSOP bracelet winner born in the cornfields of middle America beat out an international field of 706 players, many who were European and sported berets, smoked fancy cigarettes, bathed irregularly and chanted Anti-American slogans while capitulating to check raises and all-in bets, we assume.
Griffin on the other hand sported a dyed-pink hair-do, which some people may label as flamboyant (not us of course, at least not after finding out he did it to support a charitable cause) but the truth is that only real men … real AMERICAN men can pull off dyed-pink hair and Gavin is a real American man and he is a winner. An American winner. Which is redundant because all Americans are winners. Except for that Howard K. Stern douchebag. And Rosie O’Donnell. Hate Rosie.
By the way this foie gras is damn good. They make this how?
It’s worthing noting that this is the second time in the three years the EPT Grand Final has been held that it has been won by an American.
Oh yeh, we already mentioned that.
Rounding out the players at the final table were a Canuck, an Irishman, two Brits, two Scandis and anAmerican named Josh Prager. Griffin’s win earns him ‚Ç¨1,825,010 or about $2.4 mil depending on your banker.
Ok, stop reading this site and get the real scoop on all the action at the final table in Monte Carlo at these fine web places:
This post was written under the influence of Greek wine and some plant we picked off the side of a cliff.