Gisele Bundchen is Hot, Hates Poker

:: snake

GiseleGisele2 We first reported back in August that super hottie Gisele Bundchen was feeling neglected because her beau Leonardo DiCaprio was more interested in hitting backdoor flushes at the poker table than hitting her, uh, backdoor, which is, in my humble judgment, simply some of the finest work the Man Upstairs has ever created.

Seriously, well done Sir. Well done.

Actually, while I’m complementing Your craftmanship let me also say thank You for Brazil, the women there that is. And oh yeh, female Russian tennis players too. I’m sorry You had to make all the men there look like egors, but it is nothing short of a miracle that Russian men and women somehow are spawn from the same gene pool. Truly must be Divine Intervention.

Crap, was that lightning? But there’s not a cloud in the sky.

Ok finally, I’m very sorry that Chops managed to put up the worse photo ever of Anna Kournikova on our recent Toke post, I promise it will not happen again, and I will make up for it with some photos on the following page.

So where was I? Oh yeh, now it looks like Gisele and Leo have officially headed to Splitsville (that’s down the street from our favorite town, Makeupsexburg), and we’re wondering if poker may be the reason the Brazilian beauty has sent their relationship to the rail.

1_1You see, Leo was recently seen at the Bellagio sans Gisele chumming it up with the Abraham of Hold’em himself, Doyle Brunson, and word has it that the Aviator star is a regular at the high-stakes cash game held at Danny Masterson’s house in Hollywood Hills. That’s the Danster (on right, next to Laura Prepon) from That 70’s Show, which is looking to be like the Bermuda Triangle of celebrity poker relationships these days.Masterson

By the way Danny, what’s the address to your house again? Last time, the addy you gave me brought me to the old Big DoNut on La Cienega. Must have been the mapquest directions.

Perhaps though it wasn’t Leo’s poker playing that caused him to lose Brazil’s hottest export since the coffee bean. The gossip pages today are reporting that Gisele finally called it quits with her card tossing Leo after she found him poking around hottie du jour Sienna Miller, who we recently reported was shagging, snogging, rodgering and romping the new 007, who yes, will be playing Texas Hold’em to save the world in the upcoming Bond Film.

Man, I really do feel for DiCaprio. I mean, it must be tough to have to choose between Gisele, Sienna or poker.

Poor guy.

Seriously, which would you choose?

While you’re thinking, enjoy the pics below of Gisele as well as our act of contrition for the previously poor Anna Kournikova photo (plus a Miss Russia/Miss USA bonus). Also, go here to contemplate (or whatever you do) to some pics of Sienna.


7 Responses

  1. jimmy

    November 3, 2005 9:21 pm, Reply

    that mask get up Gisele is wearing is the same thing she wore that night we spent in vegas.
    i’d take sienna for the long haul. no, wait. i’d take gisele. wait, sienna.
    why do these things have to be so hard?

  2. Aye Aye

    November 4, 2005 11:24 am, Reply

    Does anybody besides me think that Leo was brilliant in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? He was also the only good thing about The Quick and the Dead. Not so sure about his loner character in Growing Pains though. Always seemed a little forced.

  3. snake

    November 4, 2005 12:13 pm, Reply

    wasnt corky in a mcdonalds commercial?
    what about hilary swank’s hubby (i know his name but its more fun to call him hilary swanks hubby) and juliette lewis. how would you rate their portrayal of specially minded persons, sort of speak, in that movie i cant think of the name of.

  4. cgpop

    November 7, 2005 4:34 pm, Reply

    Juliette Lewis isn’t actually slow? I thought she was playing it straight in that movie that I’d don’t know the name of either.

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