Alternate Headline: "Bagpipes and Barrels."
Disregard this so-called ‚Äúaggression‚Äù thing. Flush ‚Äúplaying your position‚Äù down the toilet. Burn ‚Äúcalculating pot odds‚Äù in effigy. If you want to be a successful poker player, all you need to do is this: listen to The Proclaimers in your iPod.
In what must be the slowest news day ever in the U.K., the Daily Record details how Scottish rounder Graham Clarkson scooped ¬£14,000 by making the final table in the Pokerstars.com European Poker Tournament. His secret weapon? A steady diet of ‚Äò90‚Äôs one-hit wonder band, The Proclaimers.
In case you forgot, they‚Äôre the Scottish band of brothers with that catchy ‚Äú500 Miles‚Äù jingle that ran during the opening credits of Benny and Joon.
That frickin‚Äô ‚Äú500 Miles‚Äù song is catchy though.
Now, we know people listen to some terrible music while playing poker. Barry Greenstein goes all-in to ‚ÄúA Whole New World,‚Äù among other adult contemporary gems (yes, that was Air Supply’s "All Out of Love" you saw on that list). Daniel Negreanu muscles his table around while listening to new-agey ‚Äúmassage music.‚Äù
In the weekly Wicked Chops Poker game, our friend cgpop is known to throw in some Madonna in between the Pixies. In between cool indy bands, Beaner sneaks in an occasional Backstreet Boys jam. And Col B. has one of the most eclectic mixes, shifting gears from Dionne Warwick to Pearl Jam to Chicago to Miles Davis.
However, the choice of music that Graham Clarkson proclaims fuels his poker success is really irrelevant to this: Scottish people love getting shitfaced-hammered.
Dispelling not one single stereotype, Clarkson proved the old Scot-proverb that, ‚ÄúEmpty barrels make the most noise‚Äù to be entirely true by saying, ‚ÄúMy family got very drunk before I started playing so the Scottish support was the noisiest there.‚Äù
Ahhh, stereotypes. Somewhere, with a bagpipe in one hand and some booze in the other, Fat Bastard is grinning ear to drunken, hairy-eyebrowed ear.