Issac Haxton (Who?) Issac Haxton (Oh)…Howard Stern’s Illegitimate Love Child?

We here at Wicked Chops Poker have figured it out. Our mystery solving abilities are on par with some real life figure who is well known and solves mysteries, but whose name escapes us right now. Not that we won’t solve that mystery soon either!

Haxton_isaac_copy1Isaac Haxton came out of seriously nowhere at the WPT Caribbean Fantastical and like when the USA nuked Hiroshima and Nagasaki, he’s just obliterated the field.

Which lead us to wonder…why haven’t we heard of this Isaac Haxton before? But now, we know why: he’s clearly Howard Stern’s illegitimate love child (evidence at right). He’s been tucked away for years as not to bring unnecessary attention to his pop, Howard Stern. It all makes sense now, really.

Mystery solved. We slept really, really well last night, btw. This whole Haxton thing was bugging us. Final table chip counts below. We’re not saying the final table is "lackluster" but we just spoke to Luster, and he told us that something was lacking. Holy shit that wasn’t funny.

– 9,275,000 Up
– 2,500,000 Down
– 2,415,000 Down
– 2,250,000 Down
– 1,325,000 Up
– 1,175,000

* Photo swiped from Card Player.

 

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