If our current/first wives were to leave us, and then the next day were selected to be on Dancing with the Stars AND got paired up with Derek Hough, and then for the next three months every single week over 20 million people had to watch as Derek either simulates sex acts or fantasizes about sex acts–including a beach scene similar to where we first actually did some making out with said current/first wife–it would REALLY upset us… if we were actually watching and not doing blow and banging anything with two legs* and a vagina.**
Because the above scenario minus the last 18 words is basically what Shannon Elizabeth is going through right now each and every week.
In related news, one-time poker player/full-time super model Joanna Krupa got the top score again.
* Not necessarily a requirement.
** A requirement.