Live Blogging the WSOP Media Call

The WSOP media conference call usually produces comedic gold for us...unfortunately we couldn't make it this year.

We don’t believe in live blogging. Too hard. However, each year we do one live blog, and it’s the WSOP media conference call.

This year, we were tied up in meetings, getting all of our ducks in a row, creating synergy, going after low-hanging fruit, not reinventing the wheel, etc. So we missed the call.

So below is our fake 2010 WSOP media call live blog. With a few real things in it (thanks, Seth). See if you can guess the real things.

10:00am PST: Whew, just made it in time. Close call there. Glad we got out of that meeting. Some times there can be such a thing as “too much synergy.”

10:01am PST: Pouring a 40oz now on the ground in memory of the few years that Jeffrey Pollack led this call.

10:02am PST: Cleaning up 40oz mess. Shouldn’t pour that nasty shit on carpet. Office is going to smell like the outside of Uptown Lounge now in Athens for the next week.

10:03am PST: Introduction by Ty Stewart. Ty, sorry but we turned in a column for Bluff today where we claim credit (and trademark) for the Year of the WomanTM. We know that’s your baby, but if we don’t do it, then Poker News Daily will take it from us and not link-through giving us credit.

10:04am PST: Lots of new changes this year at the WSOP. We’d type them all out, but it’s easier to read about them here. No need to reinvent the wheel.

10:11am PST: Man this Ty guy likes to hear himself talk. Yammer yammer yammer. He’s like the male version of every girl we know in the entire world.

10:12am PST: Oh crap that was Seth talking this whole time? Why is he speaking French now? Random. Sacre bleu!

10:14am PST: Ok, introducing their new sponsor: Red Bull! That shit gives you wings. Wonder why All-In Energy isn’t sponsoring? Did they get outbid by Red Bull or something? How is that possible?

10:15am PST: Jack Links Beef Jerky is still on. Very, very tasty.

10:18am PST: And Nat Nast is a sponsor too. Sweet. Perfect demo for them. “Hmmm, Nat Nash execs. We need to go after some low-hanging fruit as we find the optimum target demo to sell our two-tone silk shirts to. Where can we find a bunch of men with no sense of style going through mid-life crisiseseses?”

10:17am PST: New bracelet manufacturer too. Look for coverage of that on Poker2Nite in a couple of weeks.

10:24am PST: Weird. The previous update was posted AFTER the one before it yet happened BEFORE it. That’s some Scott Bacula shit right there. That guy’s career has done an about face recently, hasn’t it? It’s like he went ahead in time, found a new agent, got cool, and started getting good gigs again.

10:28am PST: Oh great. Here come the questions from the so-called poker “media.” +/- on Gary Wise questions? 3.5.

10:29am PST: Dan wants to know if there is any policy regarding wearing pants this year. Because he’d prefer not to wear any. Odd.

10:31am PST: Real question fromĀ Pauly: “Does the WSOP have a primer of actionable deliverables to prevent a conundrum like what happened on Day 1D last year and what thought leadership has been provided this year to create a more value added ROI for the players?” He really, really asked that.

10:35am PST: Wtf. No Gary Wise questions? Is he alive? Somebody call his cell! Something must be wrong!

10:36am PST: So no G-Dubs but this guy chimes in? Weird day.

And that’s it. Another fun year. Can’t wait till the WSOP kicks off soon in just a few more weeks…

 

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