Nerd Alert: T-Bone, Chalengr Bringing Bridge to America’s Youth

Billgatesyoung_1Bill "Chalengr" Gates and Warren "T-Bone" Buffett have a solution for all of those nerdy high school kids that just aren’t getting the shit kicked out of them enough: play bridge!

Gates and Buffett think that contract bridge, the four-player card game popular with kids back in the 50’s, and is still a popular with kids who grew up in the 50’s…who all now happen to be in their 60’s…can be the new poker.  According to USA Today, Gates and Buffett are ballers at bridge and want to popularize the game with today’s youth, social acceptance be damned.

BuffettThe two billionaires have hired Buffett’s bridge (and sexual*) partner, Sharon Osberg, to cook up a program that will teach contract bridge in junior high/middle schoolers. They’re putting up $1 million dollars of their own money, which is about .00000000000000000000001% of their net worth, to get the program up and running. Buffett (at left, telling a nerd to further wreck her social life by playing bridge instead of poker) believes bridge can teach kids "math skills, logical thinking and how to work with others." And that, "Kids who are crazy about poker should love bridge." Because, you know, kids love what ever is hot with their grandparents.  And the average age of an American Contract Bridge League member is 67.

OsbergThe billionaires’ bridge program has yet to get a bid.

Osberg, who is a two-time world-champion bridge player, said the first school district she approached in San Francisco wanted nothing to do with the program. The general thinking from school administrators being, "We’re not playing cards in class."

While it’s tough to imagine this whole bridge thing catching on with people not collecting Social Security checks and pensions, Gates and Buffett have seemed to enjoy success in other ventures throughout their respective lives.  So if they’re right on contract bridge, and it does become the new-hot-thing, expect to see a Wicked Bridge Chops site popping up soon, because we’re whores like that.

*Fabricated. Completely.


4 Responses

  1. slimeface

    December 21, 2005 3:06 am, Reply

    What an idea! I can just see it now. New bridge blogs popping up all over the place; Tao on bridge, Pathetic bridge Player, bridge Babe, bridge Grub, bridge Doctor, BadBlood plays bridge, and last but not least, Chicks Dig bridge Geeks. I’m going back to bed.

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