New Full Tilt Poker Avatars Targeting… Um…Younger Demographic; Still No T.J. Cookier

Fulltiltavatars_new

Editor’s Note: So it’s come to this. There is such a void of good poker news right now that we’re talking about fucking avatars. Can any of you pros reading this stab someone in a poker room please?

Apparently Full Tilt Poker ignored our recent advice suggesting that they add a T.J. Cookier avatar to their roster. It’s not like they don’t already have Jerry Buss, Sammy Sosa, and stupid sexy Helen Mirren. Not asking for too much there.

Instead, we get the above. These avatars would’ve been awesome when we were 10 and dreaming of owning a Lamborghini one day while watching Cannonball Run. Not so cool when north of 30 though. Or north of 10.

Regardless, we’ve seen some penguins popping up, which maybe is acceptable if you’re from Canada since you’ve got penguins in your backyard like we have squirrels, but that’s about it. Haven’t seen any cops. Very few leprechauns and Merlins…probably cause that demo is too busy playing Dungeons & Dragons.

To FTP’s credit, that panda one will definitely appeal to the Chinese market if and when they open to their doors to online poker. Steve Lipscomb probably just commissioned his graphic design department to come up with a rickshaw for ClubWPT.com.

In related news, 2+2’ers everywhere creamed their pants with the release of Patrik Antonius‘ new avatar (below). However, and we never thought we’d say this, but looking at that juxtaposition, see how it lacks the sheer sexual magnetism of Cookier. That Cookier pulls more ass than a toilet seat.

Read more about the avatars if you truly hate yourself here.

Patrik_antonius_full_tilt_avatar Tj_cookier_2

 

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