Poker Player Justin Timberlake Mucks Poker Player Girlfriend Cameron Diaz

Diaz_cameron_1Poker player Justin Timberlake, a protege of poker player Ellen Degeneres and famous for his infamous all-night poker rager attended by fellow poker players Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire and Adam Levine, has reportedly ditched his poker playing girlfriend Cameron Diaz, another student of poker guru Degeneres.

Insiders say, “A few weeks back, Justin and his buddies took off for a few days in Las Vegas and Cameron went chasing after him. She was just too clingy.”

Good for Timbo. Because fuck do we hate clingy, more than we hate whiny and sulky or bitchy and crabby and don’t even get us started on needy and touchy. Don’t even.

So word to the wise (and when we say “wise” we mean the two Wicked Chops wives who aren’t currently knocked-up): Sure we invited you to come to Vegas for a few days during the WSOP, but let’s be smart about it. Don’t ruin it for yourselves. This isn’t a honeymoon. This isn’t some kind of vacation. Don’t think this is like the time we stayed in that romantic villa overlooking Coral Bay and went horseback riding on the beach as the sun set and held hands as we promised to love each other until the end, or at least until one of us got fat and ugly. No that’s not what this is about. This is about us, and when we say “us” we mean Wicked Chops Poker, not “us” us. Remember you’re just our first wives. So if you don’t wish to be “Timberlaked” like some wide-mouthed blonde celebri-babe with a superb backside then just don’t be clingy, at least not while we’re in Vegas.

That’s all we’re saying.


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