Scarlett Johansson Doesn’t Play Poker

:: snake

ScarlettjohanssonAs far as we know, our favorite actress we’d love to meet in a hotel lounge in Tokyo, or a crappy motor inn in Topeka for that matter, doesn’t play poker. But she was in a movie with that Gopher Trace guy (well, that’s his name for our dyslexic readers, and his 6th-grade bullies). And he stars in that 70’s show on tv, the title of which eludes me right now, and also on that show is Laura Prepon and Danny Masterson and they play poker. So Scarlett is somehow connected to poker in a 6DoKB kind of way.

Anyway, Scarlett’s cleavage is the size of a brontosaurus.

Well, that’s according to her . . . and anyone with eyes.

As reported by Sky TV in London, and which we came across at Adrants, the Lost in Translation star almost crashed her car in LA when she came across an enormous billboard of herself promoting her new movie The Island (side note: the movie sucks, but go see it anyway ’cause Scarlett still looks hot in movies that suck).

Here’s how Scarlett tells the story, which is better than the story told in The Island by the way:

“I was driving through Los Angeles and I look up and see the biggest photo of me I have ever seen in my life on a massive ad space. I screamed and slammed on the brakes. I couldn’t believe it. It’s very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge. I had long hair and my goodness, I couldn’t get past the cleavage.”

Told you it was a great story…I mean someone should make a movie about this. Here’s the pitch to big shot movie producer: “Think beautiful starlet, she’s driving in LA, and then . . . she comes across her own cleavage that is the size of a brontosuarus.”

Genius. It’s got that whole Jurassic Park meets whatever spanktravision movie that was that I paid $9 for in that motor inn in Topeka thing to it.


3 Responses

  1. iPod

    July 28, 2005 7:55 pm, Reply

    The brontosuarus size cleavage starts to chase her down the highway, smashing everything in its path. We might get an R rating here, but we can do a great Wonder Bra tie-in.

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