Spike TV’s “King” Of Vegas

:: snake

Bigman_jerseyKid_jerseyBarry_jersey

Are you fat, clumsy, uncoordinated, slow or perpetually inebriated but for some reason think you look sporty wearing an NBA or NFL issued jersey (or in Barry’s case, one horrificly smelly Beckham Man. U. kit)?

Perhaps there’s hope for you and your dreams of sporting glory after all.

And best of all, you won’t even have to get off of your fat ass . . . well except for when you move from the blackjack table to the roulette table. That’s right, SPIKE TV’s forthcoming gambling decathalon–at best a potential new Olympic sport, at worst a boring TV show we’ve seen fail once before–is launching in early 2006. The weekly series, titled KING OF VEGAS, will begin holding qualifying rounds this Fall in cities around the U.S. (Chicago, IL on Oct. 23; Las Vegas, NV on Oct. 29, Atlantic City, NJ on Nov. 6 and Los Angeles, CA on Nov. 9).

How Spike TV describes the show and important questions about lesbians (and pics of Brooke Burke and James King) after the jump…

From the Spike TV press release:

Each weekly hour will feature gamblers going head-to-head on our primetime set. Players will compete across multiple games in each episode. Every episode engages the players’ skill, strategy and sometimes sheer luck throughout the arc of the competition. It will be an epic tournament spanning 10 episodes. The series will culminate in a final showdown during which one person will prove that he or she is the master…the million dollar KING OF VEGAS.

JameskingBrookeburke1BillyjeankingQuestion: if it’s a she who wins, will she be crowned the Queen of Vegas rather than King of Vegas? I think it would be kind of weird if a girl was parading around as the King of Vegas, unless she was a Billie Jean King kind of lady, which would suck. One, because her name is ironically King and I hate irony, and two, because she gives lesbians a bad name and when I say bad name, I mean bad name in the "why aren’t all lesbians, even those with guy-girl names, as hot as Brooke Burke and James King, who both have guy-girl names but aren’t lesbians but wouldn’t it be great if all lesbians looked that way" way.

And yes, I’d deal with the irony if James King was declared the King of Vegas. Irony doesn’t suck when it’s hot.

Alright. Those interested in applying to participate on KING OF VEGAS should logon to SpikeTV.com for more detailed information and to fill out an online application.

 

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