Stupid Poker Criminals Hall of Fame Welcomes Jeffrey Cabrera to Its Fabled Halls

Maybe we were too hard on the students at Northern Marianas College last year.

As we detailed, Northern Marianas students petitioned for passage of an anti-poker bill to impose stricter regulations on the poker industry and "prohibit poker establishments from the villages, and increase the distance of poker rooms from schools and churches."

We found this a totally not cool kind of way for college kids to spend their time. Not Greg Hogan Jr. rob-a-bank-watch-Chronicles-of-Narnia-then-go-to-orchestra-practice uncool, but pretty fucking uncool.

But maybe now, at least, we understand where they were coming from.

According to Poker Listings, Jeffrey Cabrera, 25, was arrested last week for stealing a woman’s purse (and giving her a swollen upper lip, really not cool) so he could build his poker bankroll back up. The purse had around $300 in it. However, before Jeffrey could blow his bankroll again, he was caught by police and confessed to the crime.

So congratulations Jeffrey on being our latest Stupid Poker Criminal Hall of Fame inductee! Not only are you a shitty poker player, but you’re an even worse criminal! With traits like these, you could very well be on your way to becoming our first multiple inductee to the Hall. Keep up the great work!


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