The TOKE: A Bunch of Stuff We Really Don’t Care About

Asia_map:: The Asian Poker Classic confuses us Entities. Maybe it’s just us, but it seems like there should be some general parameters for an event to be considered a "classic." 1) It’s been held more than once, and 2) it’s been held more than once. The Asian Poker Classic…which by the way is in India…and while we’re no anthropologists, Indians and Asians don’t exactly look or smell a lot alike…just announced they will be the richest poker tournament in Asia. Given how new the whole tournament poker scene is there, this is kind of like announcing you’re the prettiest girl in Maza, ND. PR Newswire

:: WSOP offering live satellites in really shitty cities. Since God hates poker and we’re no longer allowed to qualify for the WSOP Main Event online, WSOP officials have stepped up to the plate and are now offering live satellite in rinky-dink casinos in Michigan and Minnesota. You can also qualify in satellites at the WSOP-C event in Council Bluffs, IA next week. Although that means you’ll have to spend a day in Council Bluffs, IA. Translated: not worth it. Poker Player

:: More poker criminals in Saipan. Three men…one armed with a hand-gun…one with a machete…and one unarmed…walk into a poker arcade in Saipan and steal $12,000 in cash. A patron asks to the unarmed one, "Why are you unarmed?" To which he replies, "I lost them in the Battle of Saipan in 1944." Ok, only the first part of this paragraph was true. The rest is just really bad Saipanese humor. Not our fault. They just don’t raise ’em very funny over there. Saipan Tribune

 

5 Responses

  1. Colder

    February 5, 2007 9:34 am, Reply

    Ummmmm – Tell Kramer or David Duke or whoever wrote this that India is in Asia, and Indians are asians.

  2. Yo Colder...

    February 5, 2007 10:02 am, Reply

    did you miss the map of Asia they posted … perhaps you’re not much of a reader of the site but these guys are firm believers that ignorance is not only bliss, but when “put on” for the mere absurdity of it, can be funny.

  3. Bill Rini

    February 6, 2007 2:24 am, Reply

    Most Indians I know (and I’ve actually been to India) consider India a part of Asia.
    In other news, the first WPBT event was called the Winter Classic. Don’t mess with dem Classics! :-)

  4. snake

    February 6, 2007 7:11 am, Reply

    Chops, what’s next…are they going to tell us that America Jr. is really called Canada, that woman aren’t just relegated to the kitchen and bedroom, and Tobey Maguire isn’t really a girl?

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