The Toke (Belated): Pakistani Pays Poker Debt With Daughter, The WSOP/Keeley Hazell Trade Deal + Calling a Bet On Your T-Mobile

:: Reason #451 Why It Sucks to Be a Woman in Pakistan: A poker player from Pakistan, that back-ass-wards country in Asia whose biggest exports are terrorism and nuclear trade secrets, ran up a gambling debt of 10,000 Pakistani rupees ($165) in a game 16 years ago, and unable to pay it off, he agreed to hand over his 1-year-old daughter when she turned 17 in lieu of payment. The girl, now 17, if you do the math, is being sought by the debtee so that he can marry/own her but the Pakistani police have stepped in to “protect her,” which we understand is Pakistani for “flogging the crap out of her for not doing as told.” –

Melissatheuriau11_1_1:: They Give Us Keeley Hazell, We Give them the World Series of Poker: As part of a multi-year trade deal between the White House and the European Union, the U.S. has agreed to export the World Series of Poker to Europe later this year in exchange for giving us Keeley Hazell, who is set to the star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, as well as a slew of hot models with funny names for future Victoria’s Secret catalogs, a move that angered representatives from Brazil. Insiders claim that a last ditch effort by the French, in which they sought to trade men in speedos and street mimes for Jerry Lewis, failed when U.S. representatives demanded Melissa Theuriau (seen at right and the only good thing about France) as part of the deal. The European edition of the WSOP will take place this fall, Sept 6-16, 2007, in foggy London town, which our sources tell us is in England. –

:: A New Way to Call Someone On Your Cell: – T-Mobile is set to launch real money multiplayer poker you can play on your cell phone. Some of the sites you can access include the World Poker Tour, Poker Million and Aces Royal. This of course won’t be available to U.S. residents, which if you combine the annoying factor of a great majority of people on their cell phones with people who suck out on the river and act like it was the greatest play ever, then we may actually be happy about this. –

:: Keeley Hazell In Hollywood: Since we mentioned Keeley Hazell earlier, it seems wise to tell you that she just did a new spread in Zoo Weekly, that has her dressed appropriately on a beach in L.A., which is about 100 yards away from where we are right now. –


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