The TOKE: Ellenbecker is a poser, Woods is a p*ssy, + Last Call has No Class

Gordonforpres3_1:: If Kleis jumped off a bridge would Ellenbecker?  Future President Phil Gordon has made headlines by backing St. Cloud‚Äôs Dave Kleis for mayor.  Kleis‚Äôs opponent, incumbent John Ellenbecker, has apparently got a case of the ‚ÄúMe too‚Äôs!!!‚Äù  In an interview with the St. Cloud Times (circulation: 4), Ellenbecker reveals that ‚Äúsomething most people don’t know‚Äù about him, is, get this‚Ķare you ready???‚Ķhe ‚Äúregularly play(s) Texas Hold’em poker with a group of friends on Friday nights‚Äù and has ‚Äúbeen playing a couple of years now.‚Äù  In related news, next week Ellenbecker is going to a Franz Ferdinand concert (although he‚Äôs never heard of them), buying a t-shirt, and wearing it around the office the very next day.  St. Cloud Times

:: Maybe it‚Äôs time to take up Solitaire.  This is worse than checking quad 3‚Äôs on the river.  According to last week‚Äôs Parade Magazine (you know, that flimsy insert in your Sunday paper), James Woods has‚Ķhold on‚Ķlaughing too hard‚Ķcan‚Äôt type‚Ķok ok‚Ķnope‚Ķnot yet‚Ķcan‚Äôt‚Ķstop‚Ķlaughing, ‚Äúinjured himself playing his favorite sport: poker.‚Äù  Oh man it gets worse.  Apparently, this is because he‚Äôs, ‚Äúleaning against gaming tables [and] compressed a nerve in his elbow and needed neurosurgery.‚Äù  Neurosurgery.  Maybe he‚Äôll hire a stunt double for his next tourney.  Parade

Lastcall_1:: Hopefully Last Call Poker will be 6-feet under soon.  Just when you think humanity can’t sink any lower, along comes Last Call Poker to prove that yes, it still can.  As reported by OddJack, online site Last Call Poker employed a guerrilla marketing campaign called Tombstone hold‚Äôem.  The gist is this: players run around a cemetery (you know, a sacred place where loved ones are buried) ‚Äúscanning gravestones for their shape, the date of death and the number of people memorialized.‚Äù You then build hand ranks based on combinations of what you found. Of course, you ended up with dumb kids playing cards and leaving messes on people‚Äôs graves.  Morons.  SF Gate 


One Response

  1. snake

    October 18, 2005 11:10 am, Reply

    poker is dangerous. I was playing a tourney in shreveport and some drunk fool fell off the step behind me and crashed into the back of my chair with all his weight, giving me whiplash, 3 broken vertebrae and a slight concussion…well ok, nothing really happened to me but he did give me a jolt as I looked at my pocket jacks and he made himself the fool of the poker room for about 2 hours as he dropped his rack of chips twice on the floor. this by the way was at about noon on sunday.

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