The Wicked Chops Poker Awards – Part III

As promised, the last part of our Wicked Chops Poker Awards is below and ready to go. Read Part I here and Part II here.

Rosie_huntington_2Part III is brought to you by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (at right). Rosie, a Brit, is a Victoria’s Secret model billed as the next Kate Moss. Except she’s much hotter than Kate Moss and less of a junkie. At least less of one for now.

Best Online Poker Site for Talking Shit: Bodog. Not sure why, but if you’re a good shit-talker and like getting under people’s skin, Bodog is the place for you to rage. F***ing luckboxes.

Best Online Poker Site for All-In Fests: Full Tilt Poker. If we’re looking to get a Kate Moss-esque quick fix and don’t have a lot of time to waste, Full Tilt’s turbo SNG’s basically turn into push monkey all-in fests after the first level or two. Perfect little bump.

Best Online Poker Site if You Like Pictures of Children and Dogs: Poker Stars. We love Poker Stars. We don’t like other people’s kids or dogs. Somebody needs to conduct a study to determine the percentage of runners on Stars that use a baby/family/dog photo for their icon. We’re guessing at least 20%. Gotta be.

Best Poker Blogger Trip Reporter: Kid Dynamite. We keep saying it, but Kid Dynamite is the most under-rated poker blogger out there. And we’ll keep saying it until he becomes over-rated and hated. His trip reports are particularly good. Read his latest batch here, here and here.

Best Poker Buttaface: Chantel McNulty. This was a tough one that required lots of examination and re-examination. But we eventually settled on stuck-in-an-elevator-hot Chantel McNulty. With Jennicide’s nude Playboy appearance, she’s been way elevated from stuck-in-an-elevator-hot status to "I just fucked a chick in the elevator who was in Playboy!!!" status. Huge difference.

Keeley_hazell_linx_bikini_2Best Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell. If we started a Friday Night Parting Shot Hall of Fame, Keeley would be the first, second, third, and fourth inductee. This was hardly even a contest. Although Vikki Blows is at least entering the conversation. Get your Keeley Hazell fix here.

Best Poker-Friendly Politician: Barney Frank. Whould woulda thunk a gay Massachusets Democrat would be our best ally in fighting the UIGEA. We might have to re-evaluate our "always judge a book by its cover" edict.

Most Accomplished Duke Poker Graduate: Vanessa Rousso. Not sure if anybody knew this, but Vanessa Rousso, a woman, went to Duke, where she went to school, at Duke.

And that’s it for the first annual Wicked Chops Poker Awards. We’ll be at it again next year.

 

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