Tiffany Williamson: Crazy Bitch

Tiff1Disclaimer: Wicked Chops Poker loves women.  We admire women, as the photos on our site suggest.  And we respect women…in particular women poker players.  Our respect for women is evidenced by two very healthy (and one-soon-to-be healthy) marriages.  So please note that Wicked Chops Poker would never, EVER seriously call a woman a bitch. 

Tiffany Williamson is a crazy bitch.

Seriously, that bitch is crazy.

Last week, we detailed why Steve Dannenmann will forever be known as the Weaz.  This week, a new nickname for a new face of poker must be dolled out.  And that nickname goes to Tiffany Williamson. 

Because after watching her "play", the only logical conclusion to describe her illogical play is this: she’s one crazy ass bitch.

Keep in mind, Wicked Chops Poker doesn’t actually think Tiffany Williamson is a bitch.  From what we observed of her at the WSOP, she seemed like good people.  Very nice.  So technically, she’s not a bitch. 

She just plays like a crazy person.

Michael "I’m a machine" Mitzrachi is nuts.  Layne Flack can be maniacal.  But risking their entire tournament life (deeeeeep into the WSOP ME) on an all-in re-raise with A-7 against Q-Q?  That’s fucking crazy.

No kidding, that bitch is nuttier than a Mr. Goodbar.

How crazy is Tiffany Williamson?  Consider the following examples:

    1) On Day 1, holding A-Q with a board of K-J-x, Tiffany Williamson takes about 10 minutes to decide about calling an all-in (very reminiscent of a future encounter she had with the Sheik where she debated calling a pre-flop all-in with K-J, except this was one required about 20 minutes less "thinking time").  Believe her opponent had 2-pair.  Doesn’t matter, she calls.  Had a miracle 10 not hit on the river, she would’ve been out of the tournament.  But it hit.  Bullet dodged.

    2)  Under 40 people, she calls an all-in pre-flop for over 1 mil in chips with A-Q. Now, common sense would tell you that when you’re sufficiently over the average chip stack (as her opponent was), you’re not going all-in pre-flop with any hole cards that don’t read: A-A, K-K, Q-Q, or A-K.  For argument’s sake (or Pete’s sake, or someone else’s sake), there’s probably a 90% chance your opponent would be holding one of those hands.  And in any of those cases, you’re either: 1) a HUGE underdog, or 2) a slightly huge underdog, to lose.  That’s it.  Those are your two options.  Huge underdog or slightly huge underdog.  You’re a Kate Moss vs. Kobayshi eating-contest-underdog, at best.  But Crazy Bitch calls.  Of course, her opponent (Terry Burt) holds K-K.  Of course, an Ace hits.  Had this occurred to us, we’d surely pull a Weaz, go to the rail, call a friend on our cell phone, and explain how, "you’d never believe it, but this crazy bitch just called a pre-flop all-in for one million in chips with A-Q.  A-Q!  Crazy bitch."

    3) The A-7 vs. Sheik’s Q-Q.  Maybe this was a, "whose wee-wee is larger" stand-off (Crazy Bitch putts from the rough, if you know what we mean…not that there’s anything wrong with that).  But after facing a raise from the Sheik, Crazy Bitch moves all-in with A-7, again putting her tournament at risk.  All-in!  Who, other than a totally off their rocker crazy ass bitch, would do this?  Of course, she hits the ace!  Come to think of it, maybe that’s why she kept doing it…

    4) The A-J vs. Raymer’s. K-K.  About 50 players remain.  Crazy Bitch sits next to Greg Raymer, who is only the defending world champ and a full-fledged badass. Crazy Bitch raises, and Raymer moves all-in with K-K.  By now, you’d think she’d notice a pattern of people moving all-in against her with premium hands.  Her opponents likely noticed that Crazy Bitch will call with anything, so their only hope is to get their chips in the middle when they know they have the best of it.  "This Crazy Bitch will call me with anything.  I best get my chips in the middle now before she calls me with anything." they likely thought.  But no, she decides her A-J is the nuts, and calls.  For once though, she didn’t hit an ace.  Raymer survived with his K-K.  But we have a feeling that if that Ace did hit, the "gentlemanly" Raymer would’ve gone Ike Turner on Williamson.  "I just made my way through over 5,600 players trying to defend my title and you fucking call an all-in with A-J!  You fucking crazy bitch!" is what he’d likely say to her. 

Maybe Williamson played the way she did because she essentially got in the Main Event for free.  First, she won a freeroll at Gutshot.com’s live club in London. That win got her in another satellite and eventually a package to Las Vegas complete with travel accommodations. Once there, she continued her roll by winning a seat in one of the Main Event satellites.  Once in the Main Event, she claimed to play a tight-aggressive game modeled after her favorite poker player, Dan Harrington.  But unless they changed the definition of "tight-aggressive" to mean, "out-of-your-fucking-mind-Michael-Jacksonesque-foaming-at-the-mouth-crazy," then we think she might’ve lied about her playing style.  If she’s tight-aggressive, then we’re looser than Rosanne Barr.  Now there’s a visual.

We realize she probably played many brilliant hands on her way to a 15th place finish in the Main Event.  But from what we saw, she essentially won the lottery about 100 times a day for 6 straight days.  And she probably realizes this, when later in ESPN’s Day 5 coverage she says, ""I think I’m very fortunate to get this far."

No shit.

 

10 Responses

  1. JennChantal

    November 4, 2005 4:26 pm, Reply

    As a female poker player, I looked forward to the WSOP’s coverage of Tiffany’s play with great anticipation only to find out that BITCH IS CRAZY! K-J? Really?!?!? Even though I knew she survived until 15th, I found myself wishing that she’d bust out on one of those crazy hands just to teach her a lesson. Instead, I learned my own lesson. Apparently, the best way for a woman to get far in tournament play is to get extremely, mind numbingly lucky.

  2. Chops

    November 5, 2005 7:59 am, Reply

    Jenn…I was curious as to female poker players’ reaction to the Crazy Bitch. Glad to know that this is not a gender issue…that what we have on our hands here is simply one crazy ass bitch…

  3. Huston3

    November 9, 2005 12:53 pm, Reply

    I’m thinking they can mebbe come up with an idea like this: pay $10,000, play the real game with others who have paid $10,000. People who get in for $1,000 have to advance as the winner of 10 rounds of cheap rollers to get to play with those who paid $10,000. Those who got in on $100 internet satellites have to get past 100 tables of qualifiers before playing with real cash players. And those who play for $10 have to beat all other internet qualifiers before playing with cash players.
    Of course, to be fair, anyone getting a “sponsor’s exemption” would have to beat all others who got in the same way before playing with cash players.
    They’ve got to do something; seeing guys like The Weaz snarkily calling his friends and smirking that The Professor looks like somebody shot his dog is going to ruin the tournament for viewers. Threading your way through a minefield like this? What’s next, having someone run in at a random moment and toss a grenade on a table? Oooooh, bad beat!

  4. Jeff

    February 5, 2006 2:11 pm, Reply

    I watched her play on the wsop on espn. Right when i saw the episode where someone raised, then she looked down at KJ suited and re-raised, then the sheik went all in with his aces and she sat there for a frickin hour thinking what to do. Saying “yesterday i doubled up. with this hand, unless you have aces. which i dont think you have. i dont think you have aces. what the hell? well first of all, every donkey player thinks to themself “If it worked once it’ll work everytime” and 2nd of all, when she said “unless you have aces” my freaking god! if he has aces you’re about 18 percent to win. but what if he has KINGS? then you’re about 12 percent to win. What if he has AK? You’re about 28 percent to win. Same thing with QQ and JJ. The only hands she has a descent chance of winning against are 1010-22. Why the hell would he risk all 2.3 million chips on a hand like that? Well I know tiffany wouldn’t be able to get that through her bitch head because she thinks any ace is a monster and any hand KQ suited-10J suited has a great hand.
    I guarentee you. If she enters the world series next year without reading any books on poker or doing any research, she wont even make it past the first hour of day one.

  5. Ipanema Girl

    May 9, 2006 11:52 pm, Reply

    I know I am late on the comment, but I just read the blog today, and it is soooo funny, I am laughing my pretty little arse off at the completely 100% craziness of this crazy bitch in desperate need of some heavy duty industrial prozac extra strength that also works for PMS! My God, A-7??? A-Q??? She probably was on her period… I have no more to say… I am on mine… but still would not call all-in deep into WSOP ME with A-Q or reraise with A-7, or go in the tank over K-J (which, by the way, her beloved Harrington refers to as “beginner hand” cause of the face cards’ deceptive value). THE BITCH IS INSANE! (but what a roll…) but the way you decribed it is absolutely priceless… best blog ever (so the bitch was not totally worthless!)

  6. Toyz Shop

    May 24, 2006 6:07 am, Reply

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  7. Dread

    August 3, 2006 8:14 pm, Reply

    Of course, since she’s a black woman, she *has* to be crazy.
    Like Scary Spice. Or Stacie J. from the Apprentice. Right, that’s it…

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