Why J.C. Tran Has Spectacular Breasts and Explaining Some Other Nicknames

Kelly Carlson is not J.C. Tran at the 2008 WSOP

So over the past few days we’ve been asked on a number of occasions why we refer to J.C. Tran as the "spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran" (above) as well as "What’s up with ‘Salty’ Joe Hachem?" and "Hey is Lorenzo Lamas really in the Seven Card Stud Championship?"

With a bunch of new readers during WSOP time (and many more non-traditional as we welcome withleather.com, the Beer Goggler, NY Times Freakonomics blog, SportsbyBrooks, Rock 107, Drunken Stepfather, and errr, Google)

Here’s the where/why breakdown on some of our favorite nicknames and general Cliff Notes on the WCP lexicon.

:: The spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran – Flash back to May of last year. Nobody on the poker circuit was hotter than J.C. Tran. In fact, here’s what we said when we first introduced the world to J.C. spectacular breasts:

"Nobody’s breasts are hotter right now. We think it should be fairly easy for us all to agree upon this fact, give or take a Keeley Hazell. His breasts strike fear in the hearts of men. When his breasts sit at a poker table, everyone stares. His breasts mesmerize."

Fortunately for us, J.C. kept kicking ass, which meant we got to keep putting up pics of girls with spectacular breasts in our posts. So really, J.C. Tran should be your favorite poker player, because he’s personally responsible for about 25% of the killer racks you see on our site.

::  "Salty" Joe Hachem – Flash back to the 2006 WSOP. A media event was held the day before the Main Event started featuring Curtis Hanson and Drew Berrymore (pimping the worst poker movie ever, Lucky You), and the previous year’s WSOP winner, Joe Hachem. A so-called "media" member in the audience asked Hachem a question about qualifying for the Main Event online through Poker Stars. Hachem didn’t hesitate to pop off on the guy for no reason, essentially telling him to, "Get your facts straight. I did not qualify online I bought my way in." So Entity Chops turned to Entities The Addict and Snake and said something to the effect of, "Man, that guy is salty…" And from then on we just ran with it. Fortunately the heavens really aligned on this one, from the perfect peppery hair to the fact that "Salty" Joe has gone salty on multiple occassions in major tournaments.

:: The Intense Stare of Scott Clements – Comes solely from this and this (and this) photo. That’s some scary shit.

:: Chad/Brown Lorenzo Lamas – Seriously, look at this post. The similarity between Chad Brown and Lorenzo Lamas is uncanny. It probably actually is Lorenzo Lamas and we just blew his cover. Lorenzo probably hates us for that. At least he can still pull nice tail, as his fiance Vanessa Rousso isn’t a bad score, even if she did go to Duke.

:: The Davidson Matthew Club – Favorites time-all our of one. Winners predicting accurately us of trend a began it because just not and. Backwards post entire an (read to have you and) write can we, last a for and first a for name last a with guy a have you whenever because.

:: Star of Meerkat Manor Jeff Madson – Comes soley from this photo. Plus if you’re not watching Meerkat Manor, you need to get your shit together, son.

:: Lee Watkinson/Markholt and Jason Lester/Al Krux – When you cover as much poker as we do and meet as many personalities, many start just blending together. And then some just actually look like the same guy. But flashback to the 2005 WSOP. Chops kept reporting to Snake about Jason Lester doing well, but it turned out to be Al Krux. Or maybe it was the other way around. Really, what’s the difference?

Even scarier though is the resemblance between Lee Watkinson and Lee Markholt. They are 100% the same person (view this magazine cover it will blow your mind) and you could never convince us otherwise unless it involved something like showing your breasts to us followed by some crazy head. Then maybe we’d believe you. Until you finished. And then we’d recant.

:: Glum Girl Svetlanna Gromenkova – Do we really need to explain this one?

:: David "The Dragon" Pham* – David "The Dragon" Pham scares people because they think he’s a real dragon. But even Kimberly Lansing confirmed for us that he is not a real dragon. Because there’s no such thing as dragons. Silly.

* Not a real dragon.

Editor’s Note: Get more of J.C. Tran’s spectacular breast here.

 

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