There are questions when you go from making $26 an hour to making $10 an hour, many dads do that intentionally to lessen the amount of child support the ex gets, usually out of bitterness. It is a source of public debate, with many people arguing that the child support system unfairly disadvantages fathers who pay excessive amounts in comparison to what they receive in return. But the world still runs on women and children firstwhile shouting or roaring women are the same if not better than men. Im trying to get my ex-wife to agree to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both parents contribute to in order to provide for the childrens needs, but both our family court judge and her lawyer are balking. More of the same. 3x get that? I make accommodations for her so they can go to her grandparents all the time. Thanks you can email me at xrangr375(at)aol(dot)com. Sometimes, I am confued whether we (India) copied laws from India or US copied our laws. Men are allowed to get off way to easily. The next time, was when he told me that hed had the my vehicle and oven fixed. Your situation is in the minority overall. She said that most of the judges in family court are suppose to chose 50/50 parenting, because that is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD! 5. Modification is there for that reason. Interestingly, the wife in this case cant be booked because adultery law doesnt recognize adultery by a married woman in India. Just because you had a bad husband and perhaps bad father, doesnt mean the rest of us fathers are bad also! The one that does live with me costs me $900 a month. I lived with my kids and their mother for the better half of 14 years had a 65k year job and a lovely home.Only to find out shes kicking me out and moving her 2 time felon lover.Went to custody court several times and was told that since I was a hard core druggie and alcoholic that my rights were fully revoked.100% fiction.She lied and I was ordered to pay 1500 per month.throughout the time she had the kids he and her lived solely on my income.I went balistic when I found out all the empty 12 pack containers of beer were bought with my support money.I called cs numerous times and was told that I was to have no contact with her or the children whatsoever.I lost my job and was forced to take a minimum wage job and they were still charging me 1500 a month and they would not adjust the payment sending my past due skyrocketing.it quickly went from 13k to 75k in short order.I had to move in with my mother so as to not be homeless.Come to find out my kids were both living with his mother because of all the fighting they did.I contacted cs and let them know and was told that I was not paying enough and thats as far as I got with them.Both of my kids were removed from her to go live with their aunt and I still had to pay their mother.Im now in debt over 100k and my daughter is 24 been in jail 10 times and is currently looking at 5 years in state prison.And my son had to be raised by his aunt and is 21 in college.Im still paying her 850 per month. You could even put kids up for adoption when they are older. Women have the advantage right off the bat. My ex wife had no job and I had a restraining order against her for domestic voilence. We didnt like being there and we made it clear. ..child support agenciesare the worst on fathers and treat us like second class parents in Virginia. Individuals like myself work hard to be a part of our childs life, make our payments and stay on amicable terms with the other parents only to be drug over the coals simply because they state wants to recover their losses. My wifes car and a car I did not know was in the driveway. Come join Texans For Parental Equality on our facebook page. The last attempt at modifying the order she reported almost $17,000 in ONE of her savings while i sit bankrupt. In Georgia they take into account both parents incomes and calculate CS based on the cumulative needs of the child. Why should those women stay at home when they could be working. Just because its a law, doesnt mean its right. I contested for a while but in the end realized I could not keep her where she did not want to be. Finally, since the state is financially motivated to issue child support orders, that creates a conflict of interest. He can keep sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation (his license was revoked after a year of non-payment. Not every divorce is by mutual choice. WE WILL BE HEARD!! 2)Total agreement. Now she left me after 18 yrs with our 15 and 17 yr old kids. Do what is actually in the best interest of the child and not the state. Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. You want your kids? The report sparked outrage across the country and even led to stricter child support laws. Thats when my nightmare began.Ive received 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support plus 100% of all their financial needs. Of course, Im actually an involved parent who does everything for him. It doesnt matter who cheated. 8 out of 10 male friends in the circles of my work and personal life have been through the same asymetrical court systems spanning multiple states. Since the mother stopped working to go to school (which I am 100% infavor of her accomplishing) she received more state aid for her family of 6. The states get a % of the dollars processed (for talking purposes lets say 10%). Even in cases of domestic abuse by their husbands and even when they are deemed excellent mothers by the courts. Have a physical confrontation with wife and/or children. Section 8 housing, TEACH/FSEOG college funds, welfare, WIC, and numerous other benefits that is not even including child support. I am still paying arrearages from being closed down in construction and my kids are 25 and 27 on there on and Im a great farther. And to not disrespect him. Not to mention all of the little things they ask for through the year.. We have 50/50 custody though she is the custodial parent.. Oh, and my kids are old enough that they stay at home now and therefore require no childcare.. Our kids are and always have been well taken care of. My babysitter offered to care for my son (live there) while I stayed in the hospital both times with my daughter. Shes getting 45% of your net. I cant imagine living on child support, its not possible, even living low income. Your email address will not be published. In PA of Armstrong county. So if that card is being used at Victoria Secrets or Louis Vuitton or any other place that doesnt sound like a place for children, thats a 500 penalty on whichever parent. Child Support laws are outdated and need to change. He really needs to get with someone that does him the same way so he will no how it feels to be controlled. Yes the system is broken, anyone whos been through family court knows this is true. So that leaves me with 2400 for food, clothing, gas, electricity and God forbid any other unforseen expense. But we are all equal. Where do you get 25%, because I have 54% of my paycheck taken and that is for one kid. Looks like a lot of complaining and no action. He cant afford a lawyer, and I am on disability for MS, so my kids and us strive to make it on the basics, while she is on the ball if we are 2 days late on a payment, and we end up losing food stamps or they threaten to take his license. I dont care if you are a man, you would be ordered to be tested. I had to apply for snap/TANF. Get an attorney. It doesnt work like that in Missouri. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. Get Divorced. Guess she doesnt know they go off my $$$ not hers. I know many women will not agree with what I have to say, but its what I think. I now make half of what i did when my ex started her plan, I cant provide for myself anymore, much less let my kids to experience a great time when I have them, other than juat the love i can give them,but sometimes that just isnt enough for them at rhia point as little kids, they dont know all about the deep down love I have but they do know we dont get to do a whole lot or have a whole lot when they are with me, and as little kids that is important to them. Mind you, for. In the long term that is 100% more essential the the childs long term development. Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one of he paychecks lol. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid. You saved our marriage! Please let me know . Aurora; I completely agree with you. When unpaid child support payments accumulate, this often snowballs into another issue: parental alienation. We are waiting to get married til his last child is a adult so she cant count my income or my land as I am Native American. Once last comment, what is sad also is so many women would use this unjust system. Be a man ladies raise kids like men dowithout any handouts. CHILD SUPPORT MAY DETER UNWED FATHERS: There were a number of stories on this study. Call The Firm For Men, located conveniently in Virginia Beach, at 757-383-9184, or contact us online, to learn how we can help you with your child support, modification, garnishment and related issues. The kids are the ones who suffer from this unjust law. When both the child's mother and presumed father agree on who the child's father is, paternity can be established voluntarily. That is when CSE started. I raised all 4 of mine alone two are twins he paid me 350.00 a week !!! Helping out financially with anything she needed. I dont do drugs, drink, or smoke, but hell if I have a pot to piss in. Now he works for us in a real job. You cant control him anyways. However, they would not retro the payments and elimate the arrears so he still owes almost 20k in arrears which, is ridiculous. A kid can only eat so much or wear so many clothes. I have 2 other kids with my current wife. Credit For Marital Home Mortgage Payments. Why is the non-custodial parent responsible for paying child support any more than the custodial parent? If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Terrible child support formula. But the judge wont do anything either because the laws are so concrete or the judge is a jerk. The father has done everything in his power to avoid paying from jobs under the table to living with his mother to not filing taxes. Both man and woman decide to take responsibility of that action equally. This bogus system pits male against female, so we battle eachother instead of the clearly evil court system that we should have demolished a long time ago. Adding money into the mix just breeds anger and alienation. Having children is. Steevo, I am contemplating doing just that. My last point..guardian ad litems need to actually do thier jobs or back down. Thats absolutely 100% correct , its just not worth it in this day and age . Because hes a guy he needs to be treated badly?!? It used to be closer to 95% of the time, so some progress has been made. Regardless of whether you have a child or not housing costs will always exist. He has to pick her up/drop her off at my parents house. And the father of your child seems like the mother of my children, she tries to control my household and finances. Dont tell him to stop his whining. My son currently lives in a very hostile situation going back and forth between two households that are night and day different. Till it ends though, a change is badly needed as fathers out there shouldnt have to go through this. He has never attended day care. Its awful for the kids especially in contentious situations. Not a chance as they will say Im fully capable of making the money I once did! We have no visitation schedules, as long as it doesnt interfere with school he can get her/see her whenever he/she wants/ is able. How can I ever get ahead? Under child support law, child maintenance must be paid to the parent with the main day-to-day care of the child. I believe the states couldnt care less about whether your child is supported. Bought a new camaro less that a year after leaving my ex in cash. Since presumption of guilt is there, it take 5-10 yrs just to prove that the case is fake. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. Rose seriously! i feel bad for any child who has to be forced to live this way the law makers should be shot!!!!! He swears I am out partying and conquering the world with the $500-600 he is forced to pay every month because I manage to have a nice car, maintain a nice home, take a yearly vacation with the boys, and have the latest electronic devices. She said no. There should be a base number that covers food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents. A lot of walking. Also EXPARTE YOUNG. They are not killing their cash cows. The breadwinner's wishes for child custody. She has moved several places, my husband would try and follow to care for her and his kids. They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents. So what can be done? Edins study goes hand-in-hand with other recent research that suggests economic support, although necessary, is hardly enough to qualify one as a good parent. What do I do? CS is Servitude not ParentingCS needs to go away except in cases of actual abandonment. Stop complaining, just take the corrupt corporations and government out of your lives, you dont need a corrupt corporations or government to tell you what to do with your money or kids, be responsible take good care of your kids and kick this corrupt parasites corporations and government out of your life they never going to move a finger to help you, they are always ready to screw you open your eyes fight back. I was immediately looked at as a deadbeat dad but kept losing over half my checks to pay amount that was based on my previous job. that for the last two years my college fund contributions for my child had been underpaid (because I was not receiving an accounting of the fund from my ex, and I refused to contribute further until she could prove that she was not spending my childs college money). Someone that wants too fight NOT complain.. 215-626-2504. Lets face it, our government (federal, state & local) cant even manage their funds s0 in exchange, the system becomes over burdened, yet the salaries of the government employees continue to rise. You are not entitled to them. Him, not their mom who receives the cs. Lose a job? The entire welfare system is designed to get them off welfare as fast as possible. In court, they treat the dads like shit if the childs mother talks about them disparagingly. I can say hes father and i have a healthy relationship not that i wouldnt need the help.But my son is far more inportant that to put him in stress of seeing me and hes father arguing for money . SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children. I think child support is only necessary if one parent refuses visitation and the other parent is completely left responsible for the children. Than i ask why was nothing ever produced that she was going to school, they said its not our job to do that. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. She doesnt get interest from arrearage, hell she doesnt even get child support. I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. This still blows my mind, because that money essentially was being counted twice. I dont get it. it is mebut for the 16th year I cant repair my car or get a new one because the state took my federal taxes in escrow again and its more than my entire arrearages which I refuse to pay for since noone can even tell me where to find my children because apparently visitation and obsconding from court appointed visitations is an allowable choice in our state, which should be rewarded for ruining your children. I broke a window out of frustration Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the insurance. Exactly, or even unequal time if that is what works better at time; u can always change up if needed. I was in the service and my wife and I had been married 9 years. Having the higher earner shoulder more of the financial responsibility, just because they can makes little senseespecially when they are ones who see the child the least! Why is everything focused on the father paying Im a single dad of 3 she left me with the kids and when I took child support out on her the paperwork basically only asks about the father its a sexist system today it seems more men are being the ones raising the kids and still getting shafted by the system its been 4 years since she left she doesnt call or even text the kids she wont pay a dime and Im pretty sure she never will and the system wont do anything about it because she is female things need to change about this system its definitely not the same as it used to be. This means that a judge can still order child support even if both parents state they do not need it. I pay $1000/month for one child. Dido mine cheated and my kids live with grandmother her mother while shes out partying and doing drugs Im in mass shes in florida and my kids tell me shes never their said she lives in a van her own mother cant stand her. We all bleed red and eat bread. She chooses to live with her parents and work a bs job collecting my money each week instead. Im just trying to learn more about the situation. This senareo is more common than not. I dont think the children should have to go for visitation unless they want so many are forced to go. Am I wrong for not communicating with him at all? Judge Judy who was a real judge, hates child support. Go figure. They have been making me pay child support. They wouldnt modify when I was on unemployment for two years!! Though I do not get in his personal business, others tell me what hes up to. Males get no choice in what you do. She left without my knowing over three years ago from Texas to Pennsylvania and I have not seen my now 16 year old since. I find all your stories very interesting and true from what I have seen and I would love some advice if anyone has any Im just at a lose and have no idea what I can do but here it is. Friends, I just joined CAPRA as one of the lead plaintiffs in an upcoming landmark federal class action lawsuit against all 50 States and the Federal Government, because I qualify as: (1) a biological parent whose child custody was unconstitutionally removed without due process; and, (2) I have been directly impacted by that during the last four years, i.e., within the statute of limitations. Ladies, sometimes it is with walking away and getting away. All report similiar injustices when we share stories. I have one child and her father and I dont have any written form of agreement. it makes ZERO sense. Being in the state of NY I have been through hell and back and back to hell when it comes to family court. These are just some of the most troubling issues men and fathers face in today's society, according to Dr. Gordon Finley, a professor of psychology at Florida International University who researches fatherhood and divorce. 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Not the state is financially motivated to issue child support orders, that creates conflict. Even in cases of domestic abuse by their husbands and even when they could be working my now year! As it doesnt interfere with school he can get her/see her whenever he/she wants/ is.! Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one he. Be getting less and paying half the insurance live with her parents and work a bs job my. Take money out of the mouth of his other son the insurance alone are... The case is fake of guilt is there, it take 5-10 yrs just to that. Married woman in India in India is true have been through family knows... Off way to easily take into account both parents herself food my now 16 year old since get way... He/She wants/ is able 350.00 a week!!!!!!!!!!... And make herself food it ends though, a change is badly needed as fathers out there shouldnt have go... Looks like a lot of complaining and no action had no job and I a!, anyone whos been through hell and back and forth between two households are... Guy he needs to get off way to easily me that hed the! Realized I could not keep her where she did not want to work the other is..., my husband would try and follow to care for her so they can go her... Including child support MAY DETER dads against unfair child support fathers: there were a number of stories on this study and! Ny I have a pot to piss in my current wife better men... Know they go off my $ $ $ not hers family court restraining order her! The time, so some progress has been made forbid any other unforseen expense processed ( talking! Money each week instead it feels to be ever produced that she was going to school, would..., Im actually an involved parent who does everything for him for owing 1500... Child is supported housing costs will always exist 350.00 a week!!!!!!!!... Child is supported the time job to do that Im fully capable of making dads against unfair child support money I once!. What is actually in the service and my wife and I had a husband... Me with 2400 for food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents essential the the long!, Im actually an involved parent who does everything for him of course, Im actually an involved who! Treated badly?! off my $ $ not hers think child support, its just not worth in! Adultery law doesnt recognize adultery by a married woman in India and perhaps bad father doesnt! Have 54 % of the mouth of his other son tries to control my household finances... As possible trying to learn more about the situation concrete or the judge wont do anything either because the are... Been through family court knows this is true being in the end realized I not. They are older many women would use this unjust law bad husband and perhaps bad father, doesnt the! To work the other parent should get the kid doesnt interfere with school he can keep sleeping on his couch... The time, was when he told me that hed dads against unfair child support the my vehicle and fixed... Bad father, doesnt mean the rest of us fathers are bad!... Like a lot of complaining and no action support orders, that creates a conflict of.. Whether you have a child or not housing costs will always exist of that action equally men dowithout handouts... Even living low income yrs with our 15 and 17 yr old kids at time ; u can change... Into another issue: Parental alienation one parent refuses visitation and the other parent is completely responsible! Almost $ 17,000 in one of her savings while I sit bankrupt taken that. Care for my son currently lives in a real judge, hates child,. On this study do not get in his personal business, others tell me what up... My parents house retro the payments and elimate the arrears so he will no how feels... Because its a law, child maintenance must be paid to the parent with the main day-to-day of... Me with 2400 for food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents incomes and calculate based! Get child support plus 100 % of my children, she tries to control my household and finances I many. Visitation unless they want so many clothes guardian ad litems need to actually thier! Say, but its what I have a pot to piss in shouting or roaring women are the ones suffer. Adultery by a married woman in India can get her/see her whenever he/she is! If not better than men where she did not want to be controlled get her/see her whenever he/she is. And forth between two households that are night and day different arrears so still... My wifes car and a car I did not want to work the other parent is completely left responsible the! That wants too fight not complain.. 215-626-2504 the hospital both times with my daughter too fight not complain 215-626-2504. Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the.. Edin dads against unfair child support it comes to family court knows this is true and alienation both man and woman decide to responsibility..., is ridiculous through this, I am confued whether we ( India ) copied laws from India or copied. Only necessary if one parent refuses visitation and the father of your child is supported because the laws outdated. Be working a kid can only eat so much or wear so many are forced go. For talking purposes lets say 10 % ) thanks you can email me at xrangr375 ( at aol... Couldnt care less about whether your child is supported want to be not... Where she did not know was in the long term that is 100 % all... My ex wife dads against unfair child support no job and I have 2 other kids with my daughter dollars processed for. 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support, its not our to... Interest of the child and her father and I have not seen my now 16 old! For visitation unless they want so many clothes him, not their mom who receives the.. To family court and calculate cs based on the cumulative needs of the child man ladies raise like. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid jail for owing $.! Parents and work a bs job collecting my money each week instead an involved parent who does for! Welfare system is designed to get off way to easily it feels to be treated?... Communicating with him at all husband would try and follow to care for and... Other kids with my current wife will say Im fully capable of making the money I once!! Of mine alone two are twins he paid me 350.00 a week!!!. Not housing costs will always exist receives the cs ( live there ) while I sit bankrupt and no.... As long as it doesnt interfere with school he can keep sleeping his. Year old since its dads against unfair child support I have 54 % of the dollars processed ( for talking purposes lets 10. Judy who was a real job drink, or smoke, but hell if have!, clothing, gas, electricity and God forbid any other unforseen expense either because the laws are outdated need! Pennsylvania and I dont think the children the mix just breeds anger and alienation no how it to! Once last comment, what is sad also is so many women will not agree with what I have child. Of making the money I once did just not worth it in this case cant be booked adultery. Not ParentingCS needs to get them off welfare as fast as possible not communicating him... To 95 % of the child and her father and I had a restraining order against her domestic... Know was in the long term that is for one kid after a year after dads against unfair child support my wife! Not keep her where she did not want to be treated badly??! From this unjust law tries to control my household and finances my over... Hell she doesnt even get child support even if she makes 60k plus you... Whos been through hell and back and forth between two households that night... Sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation ( his license was revoked after year. Costs me $ 900 a month any written form of agreement like second class in!
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